Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Creating Your Own Personal Financial Plan

Mark Biller

A question we've heard countless times over the years is "What's the most common mistake people make when managing their finances?" Our answer: making spending and investment decisions apart from a personalized financial plan. No matter how good your investing choices are, if they're made outside the framework of a larger plan, you're inviting trouble.

Imagine that you're preparing to build your dream home. Over the years, you've accumulated scores of ideas that you'd like to see incorporated into it. Before construction begins, you sit down with your builder to review your design goals. You ask him how long before the blueprints will be ready, but to your surprise, he tells you he doesn't work that way. Rather than planning everything ahead of time, he prefers to develop the design as he goes along. He'll keep your ideas in mind, but "blueprints are so restricting," he says-he wants to have the freedom to be spontaneously creative as the house is being built.

Most of us would be reluctant to hire a builder like that! When building a house, we recognize it's a good thing to have a carefully considered blueprint for action before taking on a challenging task. In fact, the more important the project (e.g., having open heart surgery), the more emphasis we place on careful planning.

Unfortunately, too many people use the "we'll work out the details as we go along" approach when it comes to one of the most important projects they'll ever take on-building a secure financial future. Yet, in much the same way that we live in a physical home, we each "live" in a financial home as well, one that has been created by our past decisions. Just as our dream house could end up poorly designed due to a lack of planning, many people reach retirement and find their financial home isn't what they've always hoped for. That's usually what results from a lifetime of making financial decisions independent of a master blueprint. The good news is this doesn't have to happen to you. Get 2007 off to a good start by setting aside time this month to create a personalized financial plan that's designed to build the kind of future financial home you'll enjoy living in.

In a moment, we'll look at typical planning situations for people at three various stages of life. But before we do, let's examine two basics common to every financial plan. The first is the necessity of developing a clearly defined set of God-given goals. Clearly defined goals establish your financial priorities. In his book, Storm Shelter, Ron Blue lists the following five steps for setting good goals: List your goals, consolidate and refine them, prioritize them, make them measurable, and keep them visible. The monthly surplus established by your budget (which I'll get to in a moment) is the wind in your sails, but your goals are the compass you navigate with. Set good goals and keep them in front of you-you'll be surprised at how much more productive and focused you'll feel as you start living with a clearer purpose.

The second common denominator of all good financial plans is a spending plan (i.e., budget). You may not like it, but it's an absolutely essential tool for everyone who hasn't yet received a seven figure inheritance. Without a spending plan, you can't intelligently implement saving and investing strategies because you don't know if you have any extra money to save or invest.

Even if you seem to have extra money left over each month, without a budget you won't know if that money should be saved for those once-a-year items (such as insurance premiums and summer vacations) or if it truly represents a surplus. Also, it's unlikely you'll be in a position to give generously to God's work if you don't plan for it.

As you work through your goal-setting and spending plan, remember that this is a spiritual endeavor, not merely a mental one. Your personal financial goals and budget will reflect how you view and use money. Since, as Christians, we are managers rather than owners, it's vital that you allow God to speak to you regarding your plans for His money. Married couples should absolutely make these planning decisions together, not just because it ensures "buy-in" from both parties, but because it establishes you as a team rather than opponents. One-half of marriages end in divorce, and 80% of those are due, in part, to money problems. Jointly establishing a financial plan may have farther reaching implications than you think.

While there are no "one-size-fits-all" financial plans, certain experiences are common to particular phases of life. As you read the following scenarios, don't get discouraged if you feel "behind." The point is not to provide benchmarks of how far along you should be, but rather to provide guardrails to keep you on track and to help you think through issues common to each phase. Your situation will probably differ somewhat from what's here, so make sure to personalize these to your individual circumstances.

The Young Person/Couple

For many young people these days, youth translates financially into "easy credit and lots of debt." More than likely, the first decade out of school is spent paying off school loans, car loans, and credit card bills. Outfitting an apartment or first home can really pack on the debt, especially if you aren't following a spending plan in those early years. Throw in trying to save for a wedding, the down payment on a first home, building a savings reserve, and paying for the arrival and growing up of your little bundle(s) of joy. And just about the time your education is paid off, it's time to start saving for college for the kids.

Sound bleak? It doesn't have to be. Unfortunately, many young couples waste the most productive financial years they'll have for a while: those early marriage years when both spouses are likely working and there are no kids in the picture yet. This is a golden opportunity to make serious headway financially, but all too often it isn't seized due to lack of planning (and because there's so much fun stuff to buy!). The sense of urgency that arrives with those two exciting words-"I'm pregnant"- often comes too late. Here's what's needed:

1. Make a budget, relying on your current spending to establish realistic initial estimates in each category. Usually this requires a period of tracking your expenses carefully to ensure your budget is using realistic figures. Establish your short and medium term financial goals. Then look at your budget again. Does your available surplus put you in position to realize your goals? If not, it's not unusual to go through several rounds of belt-tightening before finally settling on a workable budget. Consider these to be normal growing pains-chances are, it's your first experience setting and living on a serious budget.

2. Attack your debt, while avoiding further debt. This is tougher than it sounds, since most young people have yet to establish a savings reserve from which to absorb unexpected expenses. Couples considering having children are wise to attempt budgeting all living expenses from one income, while applying the other entirely to debt reduction and saving. Sure that may reduce the money you have for "fun stuff" now, but you'll sure appreciate the flexibility later when your expenses soar and income potentially drops in half.

List all of your debts, including balances and interest rates. There are two main debt-payment strategies to choose between. If you are highly disciplined, you will save the most money in interest expense by paying off your highest interest rate debts first. But a more motivating strategy for many is the "debt snowball" approach, in which you pay off the debt with the lowest balance first, then the next lowest, and so forth. Don't underestimate the value of this psychologically; if seeing your debts fall one after another keeps you motivated, it's worth paying a little extra interest.

3. Start building your emergency fund by opening a money market account and having money automatically deposited into it each month. For most people, it's a good idea to start saving a small amount even before they've finished paying off their debt. Some of this depends on the interest rate of your loans, but having a small savings account will help keep you from slipping back to your credit cards when unexpected expenses arise. A savings account balance of three to six months living expenses is routinely recommended by financial planners. That may seem like a lot, but you'll have plenty of use for it if buying a house or having children are on the horizon.

4. Take advantage of free money at work by contributing to your retirement plan up to the amount your company matches. This is slightly controversial if you are in a deep debt hole, in which case you should skip this step for now. But if your debt is manageable, meaning you have a clear plan to pay it off reasonably soon, take advantage of employer matching in your 401(k) or other retirement plan if it's available. Beyond the amount matched, additional contributions take a lower priority.

5. Fund a Roth IRA. A Roth IRA, funded in your twenties or thirties, is an incredible deal. You'll get 30+ years of compound growth, then get to take that money out tax-free! Roths can also double as college savings accounts, or even last-resort emergency savings vehicles. Because they are so potent yet flexible, you should make a serious effort to start funneling money into one as soon as you get your debt under control and emergency savings up to a reasonable level.

5. Choose your investing strategy. Whether you're investing at work or in a Roth IRA, you need a clearly-defined strategy. Sound Mind Investing offers two primary strategies to follow: Just-the-Basics, and Upgrading. Both are founded on core principles that should be a part of any investing plan, and each can be adapted to your situation.

Once you get your long-term strategy up and running, continue to follow it no matter what the markets may be doing. In other words, don't let current events (and the emotions surrounding them) interrupt your monthly contributions.

6. Start a college savings account. If you already have a child, the clock is ticking on their education saving. There is definitely a right way and a wrong way to do this, so educate yourself. It's easier than it seems: use a Roth IRA, Section 529 plan and/or Coverdell Education Account (formerly known as Ed IRAs). Avoid the old tools you've heard about: EE bonds, custodial accounts, and so on. And don't buy into the idea that you need to save a gazillion dollars for college either. Worst case, there will likely be loans or part-time jobs available to make sure Junior can still go to college. Don't be paralyzed by the huge numbers you read about; just start saving what you can.

The Middle-Age Couple

As bittersweet as having the kids leave home may be, for most couples it marks a financial turning point from peak spending years to peak saving years. Coinciding with the decline in child-related expenses are the highest earning years for most workers, and in some rare cases, paying off the mortgage. At any rate, there's probably more surplus money available now than ever before, and it's a good thing. The day-to-day expenses of child-rearing have likely left you feeling a little behind regarding your retirement plan. It's catch-up time now. Your priority list includes:

1. Revise your budget to reflect your new level of income and expenses. This budget revision should be an annual event anyway, but I'll include it in case you haven't adjusted your budget in a while. Take a new look at your short and medium term goals as well. It's getting down to crunch time, so if you're serious about meeting those goals, you don't have as much of a time cushion as you once did. Use that as motivation rather than letting it discourage you.

2. Take a financial inventory of your household. What debt do you have outstanding? What needs are coming up-additional school payments, cars that need replacing, home repairs you've put off? At this stage of life, debt should be pared back to bare minimums. If you haven't already done so, pay off those credit card balances, car loans, and other consumer debts. You likely have the cash flow now that you can eliminate or reduce interest expense on big-ticket items, like car purchases, through advance planning and saving. If it's not there yet, build your emergency saving account balance up to where it should be.

3. Get realistic estimates of how much money you'll need to retire. SMI's "Counting Down to a Financially Secure Retirement" worksheets can help you with this task, as can many of the good calculators available at other financial websites. Having specific figures in mind will help motivate you if you need to start saving more, or potentially keep you off the austerity budget if you're doing better than you thought.

4. Review your investing strategy. For many people, this will have already happened years ago as a result of managing retirement plan money at work or IRAs they've established. But how you divide your money between stocks and bonds (which affects your risk level) changes as you move closer to retirement, so it's important to make sure your allocations are still appropriate. See point #5 for young couples for more on this.

5. Maximize your retirement plan at work. Your 401(k) or other retirement plan at work probably represents your best opportunity to quickly save large amounts for retirement. The tax advantages of such an account, which usually include pre-tax contributions, coupled with employer matching or other contributions, make it tough to beat. This isn't true in every case though, so investigate the details of your plan, as well as the investment options offered within it. Most 401(k) plans will allow you to save as much as $15,500 in 2007, and an additional $5,000 if you're at least 50 years old.

6. Take advantage of IRA opportunities. If you're married and your gross income is over $103,000, you probably won't gain an immediate tax benefit from contributing to an IRA. But that doesn't mean it's not worth doing so anyway. Or you may qualify for a Roth IRA, which can provide years of valuable tax-free growth. Remember, your time horizon isn't just until you retire, it's through your retirement, which these days often extends 20-30 years. So if you've maxed out your retirement plans at work, definitely consider an IRA. For 2007, the maximum investment amount is $4,000, and if you're at least 50 years old you can add an additional $1,000 per year.

The Retirement Couple

The big day has finally arrived! Freedom! But with the freedom from your job comes the unsettling loss of that familiar friend: the regular paycheck. That loss of steady income makes many retirees feel like they're at the mercy of the financial markets to a much greater extent than they prefer. Don't panic, you can have peace of mind despite this adjustment. But it's definitely time to make sure your personal financial plan reflects these major changes. Here are the key points:

1. Decide whether to take your company retirement plan money in a lump sum or an annuity. This is an extremely important decision and should be made with great care. If you'll be making this decision soon, schedule an appointment with a CPA or financial planner to talk about which is a better option for you.

2. Re-create your budget to reflect the realities of your retirement income. This doesn't just mean the changing amounts; it means the change in the timing of these payments as well. Match your living expenses to the amount and timing of your income, obviously remembering to include things such as social security income, pension benefits you receive, and so on.

3. Determine your strategy for withdrawing money from your retirement plans. This is a major decision, one you should make with a firm grasp of your income needs (from your newly revised budget). Let's review a few popular options:

  • Taking a fixed amount out at regular intervals is simple enough, but it exposes you to market declines and increases your risk of outliving your money more than other methods.
  • A slight variation involves taking out a fixed percentage at regular intervals. This improves your odds of not outliving your money, as you take less out if your account balance declines. As long as you are still able to meet your expenses, this can work well.
  • Another option that greatly insulates you from market fluctuations is to set aside 3-5 years of living expenses in a money market fund account, and pay all current expenses from that account rather than your investments. History shows that over five-year periods, the stock market has made money an overwhelming percentage of the time. This is a good way to extend your time horizon, allowing you to be slightly more aggressive in your asset allocation, by insuring that you won't be taking money out of your plan disproportionately during down markets.

4. Consider the implications of which accounts you withdraw from when. Traditional IRAs, including IRAs you may have rolled over from your company retirement plan, have mandatory distribution rules that require you to start withdrawing from these accounts at age 70½. Roth IRAs, by contrast, have no mandatory distribution rules, and in fact, get favorable treatment should you die and leave them to your heirs. While this decision requires some individualized number crunching and thought, taking money out of your traditional IRAs rather than your Roth IRAs early in retirement will generally leave you with more flexibility in your later years than vice versa (due to the smaller mandatory distributions you'll incur).

An even more aggressive way to leverage this difference in the IRA rules is to consider delaying the start of your Social Security benefits initially when you retire. You'll have an extremely low taxable income as a result, which you can use to your advantage by converting chunks of your Traditional IRA into a Roth at rock-bottom tax rates. Having more Roth and less Traditional IRA assets will increase the flexibility of your future withdrawals, perhaps lower the overall tax rate paid on those IRA assets, and boost the amount of your monthly Social Security payments once they do begin. This sort of maneuver is complex enough that it's likely wise to enlist the help of a good CPA to evaluate its effectiveness in your specific situation.

5. Reconsider your asset allocation and risk threshold. Retirement is a time to reduce risk, taking only as much as is necessary to meet your financial needs. Even if you've been an "all stocks, all the time" investor throughout your life, it's foolish to take that added risk if you can live comfortably on the income provided from less aggressive investments. So look closely at what your specific income needs are, and throttle down your risk if you're able. The new SMI Managed Volatility Fund may be a useful tool for the stock allocation of those at this stage, since it attempts to offer some downside protection while still pursuing the Upgrading strategy.

Conclusion

I've merely touched on some of the most important aspects of creating your personal financial plan: identifying your season of life and risk temperament, determining your ideal asset allocation, applying our model portfolios, and so on. But all of this information is explained in detail in our bonus reports for new readers: the SMI New Reader Guide, and Jumpstart to Successful Investing.

While these lists aren't comprehensive, they do highlight key items to address in your personal financial plan at each stage of life. Ultimately, your financial priorities and plan of attack can only be decided by one person, and that's you. But having a step-by-step financial plan can help you stay on track when the inevitable financial temptations grab your eye.

Your goals are worth sacrificing to achieve, and taking the time to establish a comprehensive plan is the first step. This year, replace your good intentions with action by creating-and faithfully following-a personal financial plan. When it comes time to move into the financial home you've built for yourself, you'll be glad you did.

© Sound Mind Investing

Published since 1990, Sound Mind Investing is America's best-selling financial newsletter written from a biblical perspective. Visit the Sound Mind Investing website.

Texas shut down 300 miles of I-10 Tuesday

• Texas shut down 300 miles of I-10 Tuesday
• Death toll of 54 across nine states, with 20 in Oklahoma
• Some 320,000 homes and businesses still without electricity
• Forecasters say more freezing temperatures on the way

Storm leaves 54 dead, thousands shivering - CNN.com

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

What happens when you hit a bird in a Porsche at 155 mph

How many Starbucks is too many?

from digg

Fact: If you stand on the corner of Regent Street and Wigmore Street in central London, you are within five miles of 164 branches of Starbucks.

You can calculate your personal "Starbucks density" on the company's website (Starbucks.com/locator).

A serious case of caffeine overdose | The Guardian | Guardian Unlimited

South Korean Military Training

Now THIS is tough!
South Korean Military Training

Monday, January 15, 2007

New Christian Computer Company in Houston! "Golden Technical Services"

"Golden Technical Services"

Web Site Design | Home Office Setup | Wireless Networking | Hardware Training | Software Training | Computer Upgrades | Small Office Networking | Virus / Spyware Protection | Streaming Video Consulting

Sites rent jets

Travelers who are tired of long security lines can rent private planes online. The rentals run around $10,000. That's more expensive than commercial flights. But it's relatively cheap in the world of private jets. For aircraft owners, it puts passengers in normally empty jets returning home.

READ ARTICLE HERE:
New Web sites offer private flights - International Herald Tribune

Investing 101

From Kim Komando
Today's Cool Site...

Not everybody can be Warren Buffett. But we'd all like to get as much out of our investments as possible.

Successful investments aren't a result of luck. They're a matter of wise choices based on knowledge.

With a little education, you can improve your investment performance. That may sound daunting. But you can get a great start on Morningstar's site.

You'll find more than 170 lessons on stocks, bonds, funds and strategy.

The lessons are free. But register to track your progress. You'll earn points for taking quizzes. You can trade the points for gifts.

TO VISIT TODAY'S COOL SITE, GO HERE:
www.morningstar.com

Sunday, January 14, 2007

10 ways you mindlessly waste money - MSN Money

By MP Dunleavey

Silently, secretly, your money disappears under some hideous voodoo spell, right? No way. Take a look at some ways you're flushing your cash down the loo -- and what you can do about it.

READ THE ARTICLE:
10 ways you mindlessly waste money - MSN Money

A simpler way to save: the 60% solution

By Richard Jenkins

How many of you have tried budgeting and think it's a waste of time? Come on, let's see those hands.

OK, that's just about everybody.

I've kept a budget of one kind or another, first on paper and then with the help of various software programs, for about 20 years -- despite a strong suspicion that I was wasting my time. The illusion of control, I argued to myself, was better than none at all.

My approach to budgeting was to carefully track my spending during the month and to adjust my budget targets up and down in each category, so that my total expenses never exceeded my income.

Useful? Sometimes.

Anal-compulsive? Probably.

READ THE ARTICLE:
A simpler way to save: the 60% solution - MSN Money

Start with saving; the spending will follow - "The 60% Solution"

By MP Dunleavey

It's part budget and part financial philosophy, and it works like this:

* Keep your monthly committed expenses, including taxes, to about 60% of your gross income.

* Save 10% for retirement and 10% for long-term expenses, such as a down payment, new car, major home repair or other big, infrequent purchase.

* Set aside an additional 10% for smaller, irregular expenses, such as a new appliance, minor home and car repairs, or a new battery for your laptop.

* Use the 10% left over for wild, crazy parties (or anything else that strikes your fancy).

The beauty of this system, in theory, is that it covers spending AND saving. But the trouble is, everyone in the group got stressed out about the idea of trying to pare down monthly spending commitments to 60%. That's not surprising, given that some of us were, until recently, spending more than 100% of our incomes and racking up debt.

READ THE ARTICLE:
Start with saving; the spending will follow - MSN Money

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Adrenalin Junkies! Ski-Glide the Eiger!

Get your adrenalin pumping by just watching it! There's rocks EVERYWHERE, but that's nothing compared to the massive drops over the edge of the mountain!

François Bon and Antoine Montant perform the world first speedflying descent of the mount Eiger in Swiss. See more here:

YouTube - Ski-Gliding the Eiger

A Tale of Two Bakers

Two bakers lived in a small town. They were highly competitive, but both had many customers. This changed when one baker bought a new bread slicing machine that cut four loaves at once. He could serve people faster, so he soon got all the business in the town. The other baker was forced to close. The second baker went to the first and asked, "How were you able to get all the business in town? It seems that you got lucky all of a sudden." The first baker replied, "I'm not sure. I think it has something to do with the four-loaf cleaver I found."

Beautiful newsletters in a snap

Want to add pizzazz to holiday greetings, club newsletters or family updates? You don't have to be a desktop publishing expert to wow family and friends. I'll tell you about an easy (and free) way to create newsletters with attractive layouts and photos.

Beautiful newsletters in a snap

Free Anti-Virus from PC Tools AntiVirus

PC Tools - Essential Tools for your PC

Windows Vista offers real improvements

Kim Komando

Microsoft will release the newest version of Windows called Vista next week. As always, it is pouring on the hype. Beneath the superlatives, though, there are real improvements.

Windows XP, the current operating system, is reliable and full-featured. But it has its problems. Vista improves many of those things.

Four versions of Vista are available to the public. They are Home Basic, Home Premium, Business and Ultimate. Enterprise is available only through volume licensing.

I'd avoid Home Basic; it's missing essential features.

REST OF ARTICLE:
Komando.com, Website for The Kim Komando Radio Show®, Kims Columns: "Windows Vista offers real improvements"

Ponder this for the New Year

From Veronica

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

5. There are three religious truths: (a). Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. (b) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. (c) Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

9 Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ...they're cramming for their final exam.

16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?

17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

24. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?

Friday, January 12, 2007

Boing Boing: Pizzerrias that accept pesos get death threats

Boing Boing: Pizzerrias that accept pesos get death threats

Today's desktop


Nesna
Originally uploaded by holtmi.

WAAAAAAYYY too much free time

Passing a Tennis Racket around the Human Body



http://damncoolpics.blogspot.com/2007/01/extreme-flexibility.html

Eiffel Tower Made Of Matchsticks

From a strictly Mathematical Viewpoint

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 101%? What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these Questions:

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 1 9 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

AND, look how far the love of God will take you
L- O- V- E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that: While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

The Fern and the Bamboo

Author: Unknown

One day, I decided to quit. I wanted to quit my job, to quit my relationships, to quit my spirituality; I even wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. “God”, I said, “Can You give me one good reason not to quit?”

His answer surprised me. “Look around”, He said, “Do you see the fern and the bamboo?”

“Yes”, I replied.

“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.”

“In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.”

“In the third year there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit.”

“In the fourth year, a gain, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. Still, I would not quit.”

“Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge they could not handle,” He said to me.

“Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you! Don’t compare yourself to others. The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful. Your time will come,” God said to me. “You will rise high.”

“How high should I rise?” I asked. “How high will the bamboo rise?” He asked in return.

“As high as it can?” I questioned.

“Yes”, He said, “Give Me glory by rising as high as you can. And remember...I will never leave you, nor forsake you. I will never give up on you. I will never, ever quit on you.”

Everyone has days when they want to “quit”. When there are struggles... obstacles in life, remember we’re just growing roots!! God has a purpose in mind for each one of us and we need to talk to Him and let Him help us realize that purpose. Always remember, He’ll never leave us, He’ll never forsake us, and He’ll never quit on us.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Moving to New Orleans

On a flight getting ready to depart for New Orleans, Louisiana:

Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was a wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.

"What's the matter?" Jack asked.

"I've been transferred to New Orleans, there's crazy people there. They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs and the highest crime rate."

Jack replied, "I've lived in New Orleans all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a nice school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world."

The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"

"Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck"

Senate Tired of Your E-mails, Phone Calls; Expected to Pass Bill that Will Keep You from Getting Needed Information

From Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association


Contact Your Two Senators Today!


Without a doubt, this could be the most important letter I have written you.

The U.S. Senate is poised to pass Senate Bill 1 (section 220), which would effectively keep AFA and every other pro-family organization in America from providing you information on bills in Congress. Under Senate Bill 1 (Section 220), we would only be able to provide you information on a bill at a high cost and at great danger of being penalized by Congress. Click here for AFA's review of S1 (Section 220).

To put it bluntly, members of Congress are tired of getting your e-mails and phone calls, and Senate Bill 1(Section 220) is designed to keep information from you that might inspire you to call or write your senator.

The new Democratic Senate thinks that if it can keep you from getting information—which is what Senate Bill 1 (Section 220) would do—then it will not be getting e-mails and phone calls from you.

Senators favoring this bill are simply tired of hearing from you. That is the bottom line. They don’t want to hear from you. They don’t want you to be informed. They want to silence you. How? By simply keeping you from receiving information that AFA provides.

I know that language is strong, but Senate Bill 1 (Section 220) will do exactly what I’ve said.

Take Action

  • Enter your zip code above or below to create and send an e-mail to your two senators today.
  • Call your two senators at 202-224-3121. (Simply ask for one senator. Then call the other one at the same number. Ask your senators to vote against Senate Bill 1 (Section 220).
  • Please forward this to your friends and family. It is vitally important that they know what members of the Senate are trying to do.
  • Print this information, and share it with members in your Sunday School class and church and urge them to send an e-mail and call.

Thanks for caring enough to get involved. If you think our efforts are worthy, would you consider making a donation to help us continue? Click here to make your donation.

Sincerely,

Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association

Adobe releases patch for cross-site scripting flaw

January 10, 2007 (Computerworld) -- Adobe Systems Inc. has released a security update to address a cross-site scripting vulnerability in versions 7.0.8 and earlier of its Adobe Reader and Acrobat software.

The company yesterday also posted a security bulletin detailing server-side workarounds that Web site owners could use to prevent their sites from being co-opted into attacks using the vulnerability, which was disclosed last week.

The updates come less than a week after two security researchers in Italy disclosed a flaw in an Adobe Reader feature called Open Parameters that could allow remote attackers to inject arbitrary JavaScript into a browser session. The discovery of the flaw caused considerable concern because of the ease with which it could be exploited and because it allowed any Web site hosting PDF files to be used to carry out an attack.

In response to those concerns, Adobe last week urged all users of its software to upgrade to Version 8 of Adobe Reader and Acrobat, both of which were unaffected by the flaw. At that time, the company also said it would release patches addressing the issue for users who wanted to continue using older versions of the two programs.

Yesterday's security update from Adobe also addressed additional vulnerabilities identified in versions 7.0.8 and earlier of Reader and Acrobat, the company said. The vulnerabilities, which have been assigned a critical severity rating by Adobe, allow for attackers to take complete control of an affected system.

"One way to prevent the Adobe Reader and Acrobat Plugins from passing JavaScript to the browser is to force PDFs to open outside of the browser and Adobe Reader or Acrobat Professional," the company said. Another way to mitigate the risk is "consider creating server-side code (ColdFusion, Java, PHP, ASP.NET, etc.) to read the file and send it back as part of the Response," the company noted.

Steps for taking both actions were detailed in the bulletin released yesterday.

AAA unveils online gas station locator

By DAN CATERINICCHIA ASSOCIATED PRESS WRITER

WASHINGTON -- The automobile club AAA is encouraging motorists to log on to find gas stations along their route and avoid becoming among the more than 2.5 million people who will need emergency fuel delivery this year.

Starting Thursday, travelers who use AAA's free TripTik online mapping tool can find the nearest gas stations and best fuel prices for about 100,000 U.S. locations. Users simply slide their mouse over each location to see prices for multiple fuel grades.

The service is designed for people planning long road trips on their computer as well as commuters with an Internet-connected laptop trying to find the closest place to fill up before the gas gauge hits "E."

Data come from the Oil Price Information Service, which regularly updates prices at gas stations nationwide. The locations are updated weekly and multiple-grade fuel prices are updated four times daily, according to AAA.

AAA officials say that numerous local club affiliates had asked the national organization to expand its Web site's fuel services offerings, especially after the summer months when gasoline reached $3 per gallon and more people came to the site to use the fuel cost calculators and other tools.

- Dan Caterinicchia, AP Business Writer

Houston in the LA Times: "Houston is feeling energized"

"When the rest of the country is doing well, it seems like Houston is often struggling. But when the rest of the country is struggling, it seems like Houston is often doing well."

Read here

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Scorpion on a plane -- passenger gets pantful of pain

  • Man flying from Chicago to Vermont is stung on each leg
  • The scorpion falls out of his pants while he's waiting for luggage
  • Airline spokeswoman apologizes, says incident will be investigated
  • Passenger says now he may have to see the movie "Snakes on a Plane"

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Patients

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color-coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think file clerks are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and tail are interchangeable."

Monday, January 8, 2007

Large plume of ethylenediamine released over Sugar Land

Firefighters are responding to an emergency call today at the Nalco chemical plant on U.S. Highway 90 near Texas Highway 6 in Sugar Land, said Sugar Land police spokesman Doug Adolph.

Adolph said fire officials don't know what is burning, although a large plume of white smoke could be seen for miles. By 2:15, the smoke had dissipated. Authorities, however, ordered a shelter-in-place at five Fort Bend schools: Lakeview Elementary, Sugar Mill Elementary, Sugar Land Middle School, Kempner High School and M.R. Wood.

Video footage from the scene indicates that a tanker truck may have been venting its contents.

Nalco, according to its Web site, is the leading provider of integrated water treatment and process improvement services, chemicals, and equipment programs for industrial and institutional applications.
What is ethylenediamine? http://www.osha.gov/SLTC/healthguidelines/ethylenediamine/recognition.html#healthhazard

Anyone else find it an odd coincidence that the US is also experiencing (the same day) a mysterious gaslike odor in Manhattan and dead birds prompting a shutdown of downtown Austin ?

Sunday, January 7, 2007

How to avoid crying when chopping onions

Lifehacker reader and foodie Ian Beyer offers a helpful tip for how to avoid onion-slicing-induced tears:

Using a knife, cut a cone out of the bottom of the onion (where the roots come out). The diameter of this cone should be about a third of the diameter of the onion, and about 1/3 deep. Take this piece and throw it away (don't put it down the disposal!). This piece contains the part/gland that makes baby Jesus and everyone else in the room cry when you're chopping it up. Once you've gotten that piece out, chop off the top, peel, and slice the onion.

Been doing it for years, and it works like a charm. You know your cone is too small if it doesn't work, because you've cut into that teargas grenade.

Saturday, January 6, 2007

Drinking String

A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "We don't serve string here." The string tries to order a drink, but the bartender threatens him with a pair of scissors. The string leaves, and tries several other bars. Each time, he gets the same response. The piece of string is so frustrated, his ends are fraying. Finally, he decides to try one last bar. When he walks in, the bartender asks him, "Are you a piece of string?" The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

10th Annual Wacky Warning Label Contest

It's official: M-Law's 10th Annual Wacky Warning Label Contest is over.

First prize has gone to a washing machine label urging not to put people in washers. Started to promote awareness of excessive litigation, the contest highlights common sense warning labels, such as the one that warns not to dry cellphones in microwave ovens. Companies find it necessary to stick crazy warnings on their products because of previous insane lawsuits.

Alien Cover-Up

Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell , New Mexico .

This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and the federal government.

However, you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day:
  • Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.
  • Hillary Rodham
  • John F. Kerry
  • William Jefferson Clinton
  • Howard Dean
  • Nancy Pelosi
  • Dianne Feinstein
  • Charles E. Schumer and
  • Barbara Boxer
...were born.

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep. This piece of information may clear up a lot of things.

Friday, January 5, 2007

In Las Vegas



Spent 3 days in Las Vegas for Hyperion's "Top Gun 2007" annual training conference.

More photos here...

Adobe: Upgrade to Reader 8

A recently discovered Adobe Reader flaw has raised concern among security experts. Any site hosting PDF files could be used to exploit the flaw. But there is a quick fix: Adobe urges users to upgrade to the latest version of the program immediately.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Poopy art


The proof is in the poop for masked renegade artists on the sidewalks of New York.

Living up to their motto, "Just leave it, we got it," renegade artists have the scoop.

It is illegal in New York City to not pick up after a pet, however some risk the chance of fines.

Lucky thing for the Sprinkle Brigade.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Analogies and Metaphors

Actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.

- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

- He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

- Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

- Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.

- The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with power tools.

- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

- Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

- She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

- Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightening.

- It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Monday, January 1, 2007

Just The Right Angle



























Learning How to Enjoy Your Yard More

Is "work" the first thing that comes to mind when you think about your yard? Be honest. Does the word, "yard" evoke images for you, first and foremost, of mowing, weeding and similarly uninspiring occupations? If you answered in the affirmative, then you're in serious need of some ideas for backyard fun.

Read more...

From Veronica: Prayer for For You for 2007

I pray that peace break into your house and that thieves will come to steal your debts. I pray the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.

I pray that love will stick to your face like Vaseline and laughter assault your lips! I ask God to cause your clothes to have the smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had, forget your home address! In simple words ...

May 2007 be the best year of your life!!!

This is the year of completion. It's done in Jesus Name!

Dilbert


Bootsie's New Year Resolutions


  1. My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that.
  2. I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium
  3. I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.
  4. I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)
  5. I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.
  6. We will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti" over any humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.
  7. I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.
  8. I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
  9. I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.
  10. If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
  11. When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.
  12. I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.
  13. When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.
  14. I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when they are on the family room floor trying to do sit ups.
  15. When my human is typing at the computer, their forearms are not a hammock.
  16. Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.
  17. I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has watched a horror movie.
  18. I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has watched the X-Files.
  19. I will not drag dirty socks onto the bed at night and then yell at the top of my lungs so that my humans can admire my "kill."
  20. I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare until they wake up.
  21. I will not walk on the key board when my human is writing important adagfsg gdjag ;ln.
  22. If I must claw my human I will l not do it in such a way that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.
  23. If I must give a present to my human guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a big live bug, even if it isn't as tasty.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Kim Komando - Today's Cool Site: "Get your classifieds"

If you're like me, you get your news online. It's more convenient than a newspaper. It's there when you need it, and you don't get ink on your fingers.

But, as with a lot of things, there is a downside to online news. You don't always get the classified ads. Sure, some online newspapers have a classifieds section.

But in larger cities, there are numerous papers that run ads. And tracking the ads down on different sites can be tedious.

If you want an easy way to search your local classifieds, visit Oodle. It is a search site dedicated to classifieds. It gathers them from local papers and puts them in one convenient place!

TO VISIT TODAY'S COOL SITE, GO HERE: www.oodle.com

Hungry Pioneers Take A Wrong Turn

A wagon train was lost and low on food. But the pioneers saw an old Norwegian man sitting beneath a tree. "Is there some place ahead where we can get food?" "I think so," he said. "But don't go over that hill. Someone told me there's a bacon tree over there."

The lead pioneer went back and told the others what the man said. They decided to ignore the man's advice and go over the hill. Suddenly, Indians attacked them. Only the leader survived. He told the old man what happened.

The man picked up an English-Norwegian dictionary and thumbed through it. "Oh, I made a big mistake! It wasn't a bacon tree. It was a ham bush."

Kim Komando Q&A: "Buying DLSR camera lenses"

QUESTION: My wife bought me a digital SLR for Christmas. She doesn't know much about lenses, so she didn't buy one. I'm trying to decide what lenses I should buy. I want a general-purpose zoom lens. I don't need a really powerful zoom at this point, though. I'm also thinking about buying a wide-angle lens. Can you help me out?
Steve in Joliet, IL, listening on WLS 890 AM


ANSWER: Digital SLRs are becoming increasingly popular. So I bet more and more people will face this question. And it can be a confusing situation. With a 35mm film camera, choosing a lens is fairly simple. A 35mm lens captures images as you see them. Shorter lenses take wide-angle pictures. For example, 28mm, 24mm and 20mm are common focal lengths for wide-angle lenses.

Lenses with focal lengths greater than 35mm are telephoto lenses. They allow you to take close-up photos without getting closer to your subject.

Unfortunately, choosing lenses for a digital SLR is more complicated. That's because the sensor that captures images is usually smaller than a frame of 35mm film. Lenses, on the other hand, are still labeled for 35mm film cameras. That is, unless you buy a digital-specific lens. I see few of these advertised.

Because digital sensors are smaller than film frames, images are magnified. This is called field of view crop.

Field of view crop is also called the focal length multiplier or multiplication factor. Common values for field of view crop range from 1.3 to 2. You multiply a lens' focal length by the multiplier to determine its 35mm equivalent.

Finding the focal length multiplier can be difficult. For my camera, I found it on a camera review site on the Internet.

Say, for example, your camera sensor's field of view crop is 1.5. A 50mm lens will give you a focal length of 75mm.

With a digital SLR, you'll probably want lenses with shorter focal lengths. This is particularly true when it comes to wide-angle lenses. On a digital, 28mm and 24mm lenses may not produce wide-angle photos.

When you look at lenses, you'll see two different types: fixed-length and zoom. Don't confuse zoom lenses with telephoto lenses. Zoom simply means that the barrel of the lens extends to change the focal length. You'll find both wide-angle and telephoto zoom lenses.

Which is better? A zoom lens will give you more versatility; it is also cheaper than buying many different lenses. But some people believe zoom results are less crisp.

If you're just starting out, I'd recommend a standard zoom lens. About 28-105mm is good for beginners. This allows you to take pictures from a variety of perspectives. Of course, you'll probably miss out on wide-angle shots.

If you like to take landscapes, pick up a wide-angle lens. A focal length shorter than 16mm will give you the fisheye effect, though. This distorts the image, causing it to curve around the edges.

When you pick out a lens, you'll also see f-numbers. They refer to aperture, or how wide the lens opens. Aperture affects shutter speeds and field of view.

F-numbers are confusing; they're really a fraction, but rarely expressed that way. You'll see lenses labeled f/2.8-4, for example. This means it has aperture openings ranging from 1/2.8 to 4.

A large f-number gives you a wide depth of field. Shutter speeds are slower, as the aperture doesn't open very far. Small f-numbers give you a shallow field of view and fast shutter times.

Ideally, the lens should have a wide range when it comes to f-numbers. But it is more important to have a lens with a small f-number (for example 1/1.4 as opposed to 1/2.8). The smallest f-number is often referred to as the lens' speed. That's because it will dictate the fastest shutter speed you can get with the lens.

And finally, make sure the lens will fit your camera. Manufacturers such as Tamron and Sigma make lenses that fit other manufacturers' cameras. If you buy a third-party lens, make sure it is compatible.

I would spend a little more for a lens made by the camera manufacturer. You shouldn't have compatibility issues, and all the features should work. And, if you have problems, you only have to deal with one company.

If you're thinking about upgrading to a digital SLR, check out my buying guide.

You may be able to use lenses from your old film SLR. I have a tip that covers what you need to know.

Still using a point-and-shoot camera? You can also add lenses to it.

Lauren goes horseback riding!!


Sienna Stables
Originally uploaded by JetMan777.

Lauren got to spend the day horseback riding - an all day camp on Fri Dec 29 at Sienna Stables.

Today's Desktop


DSC01863
Originally uploaded by Snoopyom.

Dilbert

How to help adult kids stand on their own two financial feet

“If your child is buying a better car than you or taking better trips, it's time for them to move out.”

http://money.cnn.com/2006/12/29/magazines/moneymag/boomerangkids.moneymag/index.htm?section=magazines_moneymag

Aviation History - Charlie Brown's Story

Charlie Brown was a B-17 Flying Fortress pilot with the 379th Bomber Group at Kimbolton, England. His B-17 was called 'Ye Old Pub' and was in a terrible state, having been hit by flak and fighters. The compass was damaged and they were flying deeper over enemy territory instead of heading home to Kimbolton.

After flying over an enemy airfield, a pilot named Franz Steigler was ordered to take off and shoot down the B-17. When he got near the B-17, he could not believe his eyes. In his words, he 'had never seen a plane in such a bad state'. The tail and rear section was severely damaged, and the tail gunner wounded. The top gunner was all over the top of the fuselage. The nose was smashed and there were holes everywhere.

Despite having ammunition, Franz flew to the side of the B-17 and looked at Charlie Brown, the pilot. Brown was scared and struggling to control his damaged and blood-stained plane.

Aware that they had no idea where they were going, Franz waved at Charlie to turn 180 degrees. Franz escorted and guided the stricken plane to and slightly over the North Sea towards England. He then saluted Charlie Brown and turned away, back to Europe.

When Franz landed he told the c/o that the plane had been shot down over the sea, and never told the truth to anybody. Charlie Brown and the remains of his crew told all at their briefing, but were ordered never to talk about it.

More than 40 years later, Charlie Brown wanted to find the Luftwaffe pilot who saved the crew. After years of research, Franz was found. He had never talked about the incident, not even at post-war reunions.

They met in the USA at a 379th Bomber Group reunion, together with 25 people who are alive now - all because Franz never fired his guns that day.

Research shows that Charlie Brown lived in Seattle and Franz Steigler had moved to Vancouver, BC after the war. When they finally met, they discovered they had lived less than 200 miles apart for the past
50 years!!

Friday, December 29, 2006

Sienna Stables Training Arena


Sienna Stables Training Arena
Originally uploaded by JetMan777.

Lauren starts her riding lessons today!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Runaway alarm clock debuts


Clocky is an alarm clock that moves around when it goes off. It evades lazybones who try to hit the snooze button. The clock was designed by an MIT student two years ago. It became a sensation when photos were published on the Internet.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Fly through Google Maps



From Kim Komando's "Today's Cool Site" (www.komando.com)

I'm a big fan of Google's mapping site. It's a great way to find driving directions and the location of businesses.

But, the real draw for me is the satellite imagery. You can zoom in on countries and cities all over the globe.

Fortunately for us, Google lets other sites use its mapping software, along with its satellite images. Take Goggles, for example. It's a flight simulation game.

It may be simple in its design – there aren't a lot of complicated controls. But it is fun to fly a plane over London, the moon or even Mars.

I had a lot of fun exploring cities across the world by taking an aerial tour. I'm sure you'll find this game as fun as I did!

http://www.isoma.net/games/goggles.html

Jet Man

A jug of kerosene and 4 backpack jet engines... what would YOU do?
See what Yves Rossy did.


Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Is It Raining or Snowing?

A couple was walking down the street in Moscow. The man felt something hit his nose. He turned to his wife and said, "I think it's raining." "No," she replied. "That was snow." They started to argue about it, but then they saw a communist party official walking towards them. So the husband asked him, "Comrade Rudolph, is it raining or is it snowing?" "It's raining," he said, and continued walking. Still, the woman insisted it was snow. The man quickly replied, "Rudolph the red knows rain, dear.”

Kim Komando: "Move Photos From Your Phone To PC Via Bluetooth"

Jay wrote in to ask about USB Bluetooth adapters. He has a Bluetooth-enabled cell phone. He wants to transfer pictures from the phone to the computer. He wants to know if a Bluetooth adapter (or dongle, as they're properly called) will work.

The answer is yes and maybe. Bluetooth is a wireless technology similar to Wi-Fi. However, it is generally used for connecting personal gadgets. It has a much shorter range. It is ideal for Jay's situation.

Bluetooth accessories should all be compatible with one another. I've never encountered problems connecting Bluetooth gadgets. However, there have been reports of compatibility issues.

Also, some cellular providers have been known to disable Bluetooth features on phones. They do this because they don't want you to be able to transfer your photos to your computer. They want you to pay to use their download service.

Before you buy a USB dongle, check with your service provider to see if Bluetooth transfer is enabled. If so, go ahead and buy a dongle. They're fairly cheap online. And I've seen them for about $15 at my local electronics store.

Kim Komando - Today's Cool Site: "Need a human?"

Unfortunately, many companies' customer service departments are lacking. In the drive for profit, they often overlook the customer.

One way they can cut profits is to scale back their call centers. Instead, they opt for self-service telephone systems. I like to refer to this as voice jail. You get trapped in menus with no hope of talking to a real person.

No doubt today you'll have plenty of questions about your gifts. You may need some help figuring out how something works. Hopefully, though, you won't be needing any help with repairs.

Anyway, before you call the customer service number on the back of the box, visit Gethuman. It features a database of companies. For each one, you'll find the secret for getting to a live person.

TO VISIT TODAY'S COOL SITE, GO HERE:
www.gethuman.com

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 
 
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. it's rare You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 

 
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 
 
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 
 
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?  

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 
 
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 
 
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.  
  
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.



 

"When I was born the doctor took one look at my face .... turned me over and said. Look ... twins!"
-- Rodney Dangerfield







How to tell if a Catholic is driving too fast.




Saturday, December 23, 2006

Retailers in the Christmas spirit

Oh, isn’t this nice.

Bust a cap in your tree with this super glittery ornament in the shape of a handgun, complete with a satin ribbon for hanging.

Due to overwhelming popularity, this item has sold out online. We're sorry for the inconvenience.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Hey! Who left that hair in the tub?!?


Joel & Victoria Osteen on Larry King Live TONIGHT


Joel Osteen: He's the "smiling preacher" who leads America's biggest church. Evangelical superstar Joel Osteen takes your calls on "Larry King Live." Tune in tonight at 9 p.m. ET.

E-mail your questions for Joel Osteen!

Show details at http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/larry.king.live/

"Larry King Live" is CNN's longest-running interview program. Premiering in June 1985 with its now-famous mix of interviews and topical discussions, the show features guests from across the gamut of business, entertainment and politics. Across the nation and around the world, viewers have made "Larry King Live" a part of their nightly television routine. Telecast each weeknight at 9 p.m. ET, the program also features phone calls from viewers around the globe. CNN's "Larry King Weekend" airs every Saturday and Sunday at 9 p.m. ET.

An Officer and a Gentleman


An Officer and a Gentleman
Originally uploaded by JetMan777.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Santa Groaner

As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there. One Christmas Eve as Santa Claus landed on a rooftop, he suddenly heard a very loud "Snort sniff honk honk snort!" coming from one of his reindeer.

 

Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn't know which one it was. It happened again, only louder this time: "Snort sniff honk honk snort!"

 

Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark. "Shhh!" Santa hissed. "Please be quiet!"

 

He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. "SNORT SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT!" Lights came on all over the neighborhood and some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.

 

Santa was horrified. Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove quickly back to the North Pole. He lined up all the reindeer and announced, "We are not going to deliver another present until the reindeer who is making funny noises with his nose steps forward and apologizes!"

 

None of the reindeer stepped forward.

 

Santa held up a piece of paper. "I know who it is, and I have written your name on this paper. But I want to give you a chance to do the right thing on your own."

 

Still none of the reindeer came forward. So Santa did the only thing he could do. Read off the rude-nosed reindeer...

Monday, December 18, 2006

Decaf Dog

This is what happens if you don’t have Starbucks

 

An Amateur With Real Talent

(from Kim Komando)

Lasse Gjertsen has made a real splash on YouTube. He's created a stunning music video featuring himself on drums and piano. He's titled the video Amateur, which is a bit of an overstatement: He doesn't know how to play either the piano or the drums.

But it is clear that Lasse is very talented. The music sounds excellent. But it is his method of creating the music that is most surprising. He rearranged video clips of himself banging the drums or tinkering with the piano. Hmmm, creating music through video editing? You've got to see (and hear) it to believe it!

See video

Sunday, December 17, 2006

CBS, Charlie Sheen bash Christ, Christmas and Christians

Charlie Sheen makes Joy to the World into a cheap sex song

CBS and actor Charlie Sheen have used the Christmas season to ridicule and mock Christ, Christmas and Christians. CBS approved actor Charlie Sheen’s vulgar adaptation of a favorite Christian Christmas carol. On the December 11 program, the network included in their Two and a Half Men an episode featuring Sheen singing about his sexual activity to the tune of the traditional Christmas hymn "Joy to the World."

CBS and Sheen knew that the lyrics would greatly offend Christians, but did not hesitate to air them.

Click here to see the episode on CBS.

The episode opens with series star Charlie (Sheen) singing:

“Joy to the world, I’m getting laid; I’m getting laid tonight. We’ll light the yule log, deck the halls, and then we’ll play some jingle balls. It’s been a real long wait – this is our second date! It’s Christmas Eve and I’m getting laid.”

His housekeeper/cook comes in and asks:

“Hey, I’m mixing up the egg nog. You want this broad lit up or just slightly glowing?” “Well,” Charlie says, “let’s see, we’re celebrating peace on earth and good will towards all mankind, so let’s get ‘er plowed!” “Hallelujah!” says the cook.

Charlie returns to singing, “Glo-oh-oh-oh-oh-ria, tonight I’m boinking Gloria!” CBS punctuates every single line with a laugh track.

 

Take Action

Such actions send a signal from CBS and Hollywood: “It’s ok to bash Christians, their religion and their God.” If you are tired of this bigotry from CBS and Hollywood, please take action and then forward this to your friends and family.

·                                Click here to send an email to CBS.

 

Why We Homeschool...

Teacher accused of classroom assault

The parents of a junior high school student file a formal complaint against Magnolia ISD after a teacher allegedly struck their son in the face with a closed fist during art class. (Story)

Friday, December 15, 2006

Grandpa Green's Houston Photos

Grandpa Green just sent back some photos from his visit with us here in Houston:

View album (1 of 84 pictures)

Windshear in Seattle

I’ll bet the passengers were hating this.