Singing Fish

A man went to a pet store to get a fish. As he was looking around the store, he noticed a strange, brightly colored fish. He asked the owner what the fish was called. “That’s a parrot fish,” said the owner. “It sings like a bird.” The man was incredulous. The owner sensed the man’s hesitancy and told him he could bring the fish back if he wasn’t satisfied. About a week later, the man returned to the store to return the fish. The store owner asked him why. The man replied, “You were right. The fish can sing. But, he’s horribly off key, and it is just too difficult to tuna fish.”

Texas Air Traffic Control

Dallas ATC: "Saudi Air 95, Dallas Tower -- Cleared to land runway 17R."

Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas tower. Acknowledge 95 cleared to land on infidel's runway 17R -- Allah be Praised !!"

Dallas ATC: "Iran Air 44, Dallas Tower -- Cleared to land runway 35L."

Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas Tower. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 35L -- Allah is Great !!"

Pause: Static.............

Saudi Air: " DALLAS TOWER! DALLAS TOWER!!! "

Dallas ATC: "Saudi Air 95?"

Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS !!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE !!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!!

Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us -- ya hear?

My Kind Of Pilot