PC Gadget: "Do you know the time?"

From Kim Komando

You probably don't think much about your computer clock. But you rely on it more than you realize.

However, the Windows clock is a little ho-hum. Sure, it will show you a calendar when you double-click it. That’s about it, though.

If you want more power from your clock, download AlfaClock Classic. This free program gives you a handy boost.

You can customize the display of the clock. You can also set reminders – which is good for those who love to surf. It can even read you the time!

www.alfasoftweb.com

Urban Legends: "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter"

The claim that some comestible is but a "single molecule away" from being a decidedly inedible (or even toxic) substance has been applied to a variety of processed foods. These types of statements (even if they were true) are essentially meaningless. Many disparate substances share similar chemical properties, but even the slightest variation in molecular structure can make a world of difference in the qualities of those substances.

http://www.snopes.com/food/warnings/butter.asp

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Oil of Olé

Claim: Ordinary use of Canola oil is dangerous to consumers.
Status: False.

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Canola Oil

Struggling to sleep?

From www.heartwiseministries.org

SLEEP IS VERY important to the body. Not everyone needs the same amount of sleep. Even animals require different amounts of sleep. A giraffe sleeps an average of 1.9 hours a day, but a brown bat spends 19.9 hours a day asleep. Can you imagine spending 83 percent of your time asleep? We do spend up to one-third of our lives asleep, however; yet few of us spend all of our sleep time doing it well. Sixty million Americans suffer from insomnia, yet the FDA recommends using sleeping pills for only two weeks or less. What is the answer? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Keep the stomach empty four hours before going to bed. When you eat, the stomach is not resting. Acid is being formed to digest food, and sometimes this acid reflexes back into the esophagus and causes problems
2. Avoid stimulants. This may include caffeine, which can last up to 20 hours in the body. Also, Television can keep the mind revved up. Try to keep the mind relaxed. Read the Bible and pray before sleeping.
3. Get more exercise. This will make you more tired.
4. Keep the room dark. Darkness stimulates the production of melatonin from the pineal gland. This is the substance God made which helps us sleep naturally
5. Laugh. This promotes endorphins, which counteract stress hormones and relax our muscles.
6. Avoid anger. Ephesians 4:26 advises us, ''Do not let the sun go down on your wrath'' (NKJV).

Chili Judge

Copyright 1997 W. Bruce Cameron Please do not remove the copyright from this essay

Recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my Community to be a judge at a chili cook-off because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came.

I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted this as being one of those burdens you endure when you're an Internet writer and therefore known and adored by all.

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

• JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
• JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor Very mild.
• CAMERON: Holy smokes, what is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.

Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili

• JUDGE ONE: Smoky (barbecue?) with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
• JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
• CAMERON: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. Shoved my way to the front of the beer line. The barmaid looks like a professional wrestler after a bad night. She was so irritated over my gagging sounds that the snake tattoo under her eye started to twitch. She has arms like Popeye and a face like Winston Churchill. I will NOT pick a fight with her.

Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

• JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
• JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
• CAMERON: This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been sneezing Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. She said her friends call her "Sally." Probably behind her back they call her "Forklift."

Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic

• JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
• JUDGE TWO: A hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
• CAMERON: I felt something scraping across my tongue but was unable to taste it. Sally was standing behind me with fresh refills so I wouldn't have to dash over to see her. When she winked at me her snake sort of coiled and uncoiled—it's kinda cute.

Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover

• JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
• JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
• CAMERON: My ears are ringing and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed hurt when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. Sort of irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

• JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
• JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
• CAMERON: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. I asked if she wants to go dancing later.

Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

• JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
• JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef threw in canned chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am a bit worried about Judge Number 3, he appears to be in a bit of distress.
• CAMERON: You could put a hand grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and I wouldn't feel it. I've lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth at some point. Good, at autopsy they'll know what killed me. Go Sally, save yourself before it's too late. Tell our children I'm sorry I was not there to conceive them. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful and I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just let it in through the hole in my stomach. Call the X-Files people and tell them I've found a super nova on my tongue.

Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili

• JUDGE ONE: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself.
• JUDGE TWO: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
• CAMERON: Momma?

Why We Homeschool

Pills handed out 'like candy' hospitalize students | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle: "Drugs, including Xanax, were passed out 'like candy', police say"