Get Energized! - The Natural Way

Do you often complain of being tired or don't seem to have enough energy to do what you need to do or what you want to do? If so, you're not alone. A lack of energy is a major problem and one of the biggest complaints doctors hear from their patients. It's a very, very encompassing subject because so many people suffer from energy problems. And not just in this country, but around the world. But there are natural treatments to help you deal with this - and they're amazing. What are some of these treatments?

The number one treatment for fatigue and for increasing your energy is ginseng. In fact, ginseng tops the list around the world - both American ginseng and also Siberian ginseng that's in the same family as the Asian ginseng but probably a little better.

Other herbs that can help boost your energy level include guarana and maté, which are extensively cultivated and used in South America; rhodiola, a not-so-common herb used in countries from Scandinavia to Siberia to Asia, but particularly in Tibet as an energy and stamina booster; and finally, cordyceps, which is a mushroom that is grown on soybean cultures and widely used in Asia. It's quite a fascinating fact that all around the world people face the same identical problem of not having enough energy to simply do the things they want or need to do.

Of course, you don't want to take just anything to boost your energy level or to drive your body to a high energy level. You also want to enable your body to use energy more efficiently. There are certain herbs, particularly guarana and maté, that have a caffeine-like compound that can help you do just that. They are called isomers and they function similar to caffeine but don't cause any of the jitteriness that caffeine can cause.

When looking to boost your energy level, don't just take something to speed your body up. You need to also make your body more efficient by helping your body utilize more oxygen. Some of the ingredients I listed here can actually help your cells take up and use oxygen more efficiently - and that's one of the real keys to increasing your energy so that you can accomplish what God has called you to do.

For more information on Dr. Cherry's ministry, visit his Web site: http://www.AbundantNutrition.com

Monkeying Around

A heating and cooling technician trained a small chimpanzee to help him. The chimp was the perfect assistant. He wasn’t afraid of heights. And because he was small, he could squeeze into ducts to work on them. Best of all, the technician didn’t need to pay him. One day, a customer called because his air conditioning was running and running. But the house didn’t seem to be cooling down. The technician examined the cooling system and found a problem in the ducts. The customer asked if it would be difficult to fix. “Nope,” said the technician. “I have a little duct ape that will fix the problem.”

Penguin Breakdown

A truck driver had to deliver five hundred penguins to the state zoo, but while driving through the desert the truck breaks down. After waiting by the side of the road for about three hours he waves a second truck down , offering the driver $500 to take the penguins to the state zoo for him.

The next day the first truck driver arrives in town and sees the second truck driver crossing the road with 500 penguins walking in single file behind him. The first truck driver jumps out of his truck and says, "What's going on? I gave you $500 to take these penguins to the zoo!"

The second truck driver replies, "I did take them to the zoo. And I had enough money left over so now we're going to see a movie."

Top Ten Silliest Questions Asked on a Cruise Ship

10. Do these steps go up or down?

9. What do you do with the beautiful ice carvings after they melt?

8. Which elevator do I take to get to the front of the ship?

7. Does the crew sleep on the ship?

6. Is this island completely surrounded by water?

5. Does the ship make its own electricity?

4. Is it salt water in the toilets?

3. What elevation are we at?

2. [To the onboard photographer who takes photos and displays them the next day]:
If the pictures aren't marked, how will I know which ones are mine?

1. What time is the Midnight Buffet being served?

FREE CONCERT! Todd Agnew - Live at SugarLand Town Square

Grace Like Rain
My Jesus
Unchanging One
This Fragile Breath

Also catch Todd live (acoustic) on the KSBJ Morning Show with Mike & Susan Wed morning starting at 7am.

Jul 18 2007 6:30PM - 8:30PM

Sugar Land Town Square Plaza

2711 Town Center Boulevard North, Sugar Land, TX 77479
www.toddagnew.com

Painless Ways to Save Money

Tawra Kellam

The average American often feels overwhelmed by debt and doesn't know where to start or how to go about getting out of debt. It's a misconception that the more money you earn the easier it is to save. My husband and I paid off $20,000 of credit card debt and medical bills in 5 years on an average income of $22,000 a year.

Here is how you can save over $7,000 in just one year cutting a few things from your grocery bill. They are painless, simple and add up over time.

If you don't think that cutting out one bag of potato chips or one soda will add up, look at the numbers at the end of a year. If you're trying to save so you can be a stay-at-home mom or dad, to pay off a down payment on a house, get rid of some credit card debt or just to have some emergency money, here are 13 ways to do it without depriving yourself:

By eliminating one $2.00 bag of potato chips (not all just 1 bag) from your grocery bill each week you can save $104.00 per year.

Cutting out one six-pack of soda will save another $104.

A weekly $4.00 box of granola cereal adds up to $208 a year.

If you eat out one less time each week at $30 a meal, you can save $1,560 and ordering one less delivered pizza at $20, can save you $1040 per year.

Similar annual savings can be realized by cutting out weekly purchases of fruit rolls ($130), daily gourmet coffee at $2.50 per cup ($910), a daily liter of soda ($365), snack cakes ($455), one less bottled water ($455), one cup less juice per person in a family of four ($546), 3 lbs. less red meat a week ($390), and by eliminating a $4.00 lunch five days a week ($1040).

By themselves, these efforts may seem small--but they add up to over $7,000.

Tawra Kellam is the author of the frugal cookbook Not Just Beans: 50 Years of Frugal Family Favorites. Not Just Beans is a frugal cookbook which has over 540 recipes and 400 tips. For more free tips and recipes visit our web site at www.LivingOnADime.com.

Hiring Slogans

Beware of Companies With These Hiring Slogans:

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some each night and some each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.

Tired? When You Should See Your Doctor

Dr. Cherry

We all have bouts of fatigue once in awhile. But when should you be concerned enough to see your doctor?

According to the Mayo Clinic, "sudden or persistent fatigue, despite adequate rest, may mean it's time for you to consult your doctor. Unrelenting exhaustion may be a sign of an underlying medical problem." See your doctor if you're extremely tired or unable to regain your energy after several weeks of increased rest. Medical causes of fatigue can include the following say Clinic experts:

• Anemia. This blood disorder results from a number of problems that affect your blood's ability to transport oxygen, causing fatigue.
  
  
• Cancer. Although fatigue can be a symptom of cancer, don't be alarmed. See your doctor for a thorough checkup and get regular cancer screenings.
  
  
• Depression. A loss of energy that's accompanied by any number of symptoms - including sadness, loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping or oversleeping, a lack of interest in pleasurable activities and difficulty concentrating - may be a part of depression.
  
  
• Diabetes. Extreme fatigue can be a warning sign of diabetes. (Other symptoms: excessive thirst, frequent urination, blurred vision and recurring infections.)
  
  
• Restless legs syndrome (RLS). This condition is characterized by an inability to keep your legs still and by tingling or aching sensations in your legs, feet or arms. The symptoms generally occur at night, preventing sound sleep.
  
  
• Sleep apnea. Signs of this disorder include loud snoring, pauses between breaths and awakening frequently while gasping for air. It's a common source of fatigue because it interferes with sound sleep.
  
  
• Thyroid problems. Hypothyroidism is a condition in which your thyroid gland fails to make or release enough thyroid hormone. Signs and symptoms include sluggishness, chronically cold hands and feet, constipation, dry skin and a hoarse voice. Hyperthyroidism is a condition in which your thyroid produces excessive amounts of hormone causing fatigue, muscle weakness, weight loss, increased heart rate, nervousness and irritability.
  
  
• Chronic fatigue syndrome. Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) is a complicated disorder characterized by extreme fatigue that doesn't improve with bed rest and may worsen with physical or mental activity. It affects more than a million Americans, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Of all chronic illnesses, CFS is one of the most mysterious (up to 80 percent of people with CFS do not know they have it, says the CDC). Severe and debilitating fatigue, muscle aches and difficulty concentrating are the most common symptoms. In some cases, low-grade fevers and swollen lymph nodes may develop.
  

We all have bouts of decreased stamina and a lack of energy. If a discernible medical ailment is not found, then the cause of fatigue may be due to a combination of factors, including stress, an improper diet or a lack of exercise. Fortunately, God has given us certain natural nutrients that can alleviate tiredness and boost your energy level. You can find these nutrients in my Energy Support formula. Give it a try. You'll be glad you did!

For more information on Dr. Cherry's ministry, visit his Web site: http://www.AbundantNutrition.com

Hillary's Double Speak

Elephants never forget, so let's remind Hillary Clinton of her past positions on Iraq and cure her memory loss.

On October 11, 2002, she cast her vote supporting the President's resolution to go to war. She said her vote was cast with the "conviction" that the war authorization "best serves the security of our nation."

Hillary also said that she rejected setting a timetable to withdraw from Iraq. Her exact words:

"I reject a rigid timetable that the terrorists can exploit, and I reject an open timetable that has no ending attached to it." (Associated Press, 12/3/05)

You can watch the video of these statements by clicking here.

But in recent months and days, Hillary has voted against providing funds to support our troops and their safety. The legislation she voted against provided $1.6 billion for body armor, $2.4 billion to help combat IEDs, and $3 billion for mine resistant vehicles.

And now she is saying that "this is not our fight." She wants to withdraw.

The President and the Republican Party will not forget our commitment to protecting Americans at home and abroad. Neither should Hillary Clinton. Remind her of her past positions and her support of our troops by contacting her here:

Sen. Hillary Clinton
476 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510-3204
(202) 224-4451
E-mail form: http://clinton.senate.gov/contact/webform.cfm?subj=issue

Sincerely ,


Robert M. "Mike" Duncan
Chairman, Republican National Committee

Why women drive with two hands and men with only one

The study - called The Secret Life of Cars and What They Reveal About Us - also found that motorists are four times more likely to sing on their way to work than on the way home.

Houston mosquitos?

How would you like to be the electrician that opened this box???

An electrical panel opened at a chemical plant in Seadrift, TX

All In One Kitchen

Theft in New Zealand

Police in New Zealand were mystified by the apparent theft of a complete toilet bowl from a police station in Auckland.

When a local news reporter asked the police sergeant if they had any leads, he replied, "At present we have nothing to go on."

Human Tetris!

What Time Is It?

On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"

The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to 'Happy Hour.'"

Always Feeling Tired? What You Can Do

Dr. Cherry

"Fatigue robs you of the energy you need to keep up with the demands placed on you, to enjoy your life, even to make the changes in your life needed to maintain your health. Fatigue puts pressure on your work, your home life, and your relationships - which only makes you more tired. It can be a downward spiral..."

Those words from a popular Web site for women (www.womentowomen.com) say a lot about how a lack of energy affects so many of our lives. In fact, fatigue is among the most common complaints doctors hear from their patients.

So why are so many of us so tired so often, and what can we do about it? Fatigue can have a variety of lifestyle causes. Here are some of the major ones - along with solutions - according to the Mayo Clinic. (In my next newsletter, I'll discuss when you should see your doctor about your fatigue.)

--------------------------------------------
Lack of sleep. Getting even an hour less than the sound slumber you need each night (seven to eight hours is the ideal, according to most experts) can leave you drowsy and unable to manage your daily routine. As we get older, it becomes harder to get uninterrupted sleep, we tend to sleep less soundly, and we often awaken earlier.

Solution: Practice good sleep habits. Most experts say not to eat, read or watch television in bed. For a better night's sleep, keep your bedroom cool, dark and quiet. Try to establish a regular sleep schedule by going to bed and waking up at about the same time each day. If you nap during the day, do it early and keep it short. Also, schedule any physical activity at least six hours before bedtime and don't eat a large late-night meal.

--------------------------------------------
Stress and anxiety. Going through life anxious and on edge can keep you from relaxing and getting the rest you need. If you're so busy that you're running from one task to the next without a break, it's eventually going to wear you down.

Solution: Reduce stress. Be realistic about your limitations (learn to say "no"), and put aside time each day to do something you enjoy.

--------------------------------------------
Inactivity. It's a common excuse: "I'm too tired to exercise" - so you don't. But engaging in moderate physical activity can help decrease stress, improve mood and leave you feeling energized. Just don't overexert yourself at first if you haven't been exercising.

Solution: Include at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity, such as brisk walking, swimming or gardening each day. If that's too much, start with 10 minutes several times throughout the day. Once you get moving, you'll be surprised at the stamina you'll feel.

--------------------------------------------
Eating habits. If you're not eating properly or drinking enough fluids (fatigue is often a sign of dehydration), your body isn't getting the fuel and fluid it needs.

Solution: Start your day with a low-fat, high-fiber breakfast that includes plenty of complex carbohydrates, such as whole grains and fruits for lasting energy. Stay away from sugary cereals and juices and caffeinated drinks. They can make you feel sluggish later in the day. Don't skip meals; refuel every three or four hours.

--------------------------------------------
Certain medications. Some medications (both prescription and over-the-counter), including many beta-blockers and antihistamines, can cause fatigue. In addition, some cold medications and pain relievers contain caffeine and other stimulants that can keep you up at night.

Solution: Talk to your doctor if you think your medication is making you tired. He or she might be able to suggest an alternative medication or make other recommendations, such as taking your medication at a different time of day.

For more information on Dr. Cherry's ministry, visit his Web site: http://www.AbundantNutrition.com

WANTED: Helicopter students

Jay Leno Sniffs Anti-Helium

Digging for Hidden Fees

Mary Hunt

Have you ever wondered how banks can offer free checking accounts and still stay in business? And what’s with really nice computer printers for $99? How can companies do that and not lose their shirts?

Take that printer for example. What unsuspecting customers don’t realize is the company has attached itself to their wallets. They’ll fork over about $1,500 in ink cartridges in the first four years to use that dandy $99 printer - cartridges that never go on sale. That’s where the company makes its money. Hidden fees.

And about your “free” checking account. Just how much did you pay in ATM fees this past year? Uh, huh. You guessed it: hidden fees.

We live in a fee-driven economy. Fees are hiding everywhere - even in hotel rooms. Sure, you think you got the deal of the century - just $80 per night - but that’s going to disappear once you realize you have to pay a $20-a-day parking fee, $2 for every local phone call and if in a moment of weakness you pluck those $12 cashews from the mini bar, you’ve just been clobbered by the equivalent of hidden fees.

How about your cell phone? Since January 2002 wireless providers have charged customers nearly $1 billion in additional fees. These are not the fees you may have been so careful to avoid like roaming and extra-minute charges. These are official-looking add-ons with names like Federal Recovery Fee, Federal E911 Fee and Number Portability Service Charge.

How up to speed are you with your monthly credit-card statements? If you’re late by even five minutes with a payment, prepare to get slapped with a $35 late fee. Ditto if you go over limit.

Hidden fees are lurking everywhere. Whether you get trapped into paying them all depends on how you play the game.

Basically there are two kinds of consumers: Sophisticates and myopes. Sophisticates play the hidden-fee game with great success. They read all the fine print. There are few lengths to which they will not go to avoid paying hidden fees. They are forever having fees waived because they dare to speak up and challenge them.

Myopes - persons suffering from short-sightedness or “myopia” - don’t see hidden fees. Companies love these naive consumers who pay hidden fees without flinching and without a single word of complaint.

The best way for myopes to get their financial vision corrected is to hang around with sophisticates. Pay attention to what they do.

To counteract the high cost of printer cartridges sophisticates print on “draft” mode when the quality of the print job is not critical. That makes their cartridges last longer. You’d never catch a sophisticate plucking a tasty morsel from a hotel mini bar. They scrutinize a car rental agreement before they sign on the dotted line, refusing to accept the additional insurance (hidden fee). They fill the rental with gas before returning it because they know what happens if you don’t - $6-a-gallon added as a hidden fee. They question every fee, every charge on everything. Nothing gets past a sophisticate.

Sophisticates are on to the sneaky tricks of gift card providers. They know that gift cards begin melting away through dormancy fees and maintenance.

Have you figured out to which group of consumers you belong? Let’s check:

Do you pretty much believe that by some miracle there really is a “free” checking account?

When you rent a car do you cave in to all the add ons?

Do you just pay your cell phone bill without first questioning every charge on that statement?

If you answered yes, there’s a pretty good chance that you are a financial myope. But do not despair. There is hope for your condition. You can give yourself financial lasik surgery simply by making the decision to stop being naive and start digging.

Uncovering hidden fees is good for us. It makes us better consumers. It builds our financial confidence and provides a little padding for the wallet, too. But more than that, digging for hidden fees - and then avoiding them - is empowering.

And it’s pretty good insurance against getting ripped off, too.

"Debt-Proof Living" was founded in 1992 by Mary Hunt. What began as a newsletter to encourage and empower people to break free from the bondage of consumer debt has grown into a huge community of ordinary people who have achieved remarkable success in their quest to effectively manage their money and stay out of debt. Today, "The Cheapskate Monthly" is read by close to 100,000 Cheapskates.

All Hands Meeting

CLICK FOR LARGER

The Inventor of the slip-and-slide becomes a father

Oops

Teenagers trash can

In the desert

At The Flip-Flop Quality Control Center

Don't fall asleep at the game...

Helicopter First Flight - No Training

Police Comments

These 16 police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief [of Police] Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Your Guide to Never Feeling Tired Again

22 ways to tackle life's biggest energy zappers.
Every day, 2.2 million Americans complain of being tired. Most of us chalk it up to having too much to do and not enough time to do it in, especially during extra-busy periods. But often the true culprits are our everyday habits: what we eat, how we sleep, and how we cope emotionally. Read on for some simple, recharging changes that can help you tackle all of the energy stealers in your life."
READ MORE...

10 Things Your Grocery Store Doesn't Want You to Know

By Sally Wadyka for MSN Health & Fitness

Grocery shopping seems like a harmless enough activity. It’s a chore, but it’s one that most of us do at least once a week, without giving much thought to what’s going on behind the scenes at the supermarket.

How we shop has become a science that’s studied endlessly. “Market researchers have worked for years to come up with ways to make sure shoppers see as many products as possible, because the more they see, the more they buy,” says Marion Nestle, author of What to Eat: An Aisle-by-Aisle Guide to Savvy Food Choices and Good Eating.

So to make yourself a smarter shopper, learn about the top tricks and other secrets lurking at the supermarket."

READ MORE...

Man nearly sucked out of Seattle-bound plane

Man survives with just cuts and bruises
BOISE, Idaho - A flight nurse who had his head and right arm sucked through the broken window of an air ambulance at 20,000 feet said the hard shell of his headset frame may have saved his life.
READ MORE...

SAP admits to corporate espionage against Oracle

Uh oh, we've got ourselves a true-blue corporate competitive intelligence espionage fiasco exploding on the international stage. Germany's SAP has admitted to "inappropriate downloads" from arch-rival, Oracle in the US. Oracle is suing SAP with claims that it is guilty of "corporate theft on a grand scale" after hacking into Oracle's computer network and stealing a "wide range of copyrighted software and other material" from their Peoplesoft business unit. Taking the presidential classic, "I didn't inhale" defense, SAP admits to stealing the data but claims it never left the systems of their wholly owned subsidiary, TomorrowNow (where SAP has "made changes" to management). Well, at least now we can more clearly see why the French are so concerned with their sensitive data being hosted outside of their immediate control.

Read

This won't hurt a bit

Dave Barry

I will frankly admit that I'm afraid of medical care. I trace this fear to my childhood, when, as far as I could tell, the medical profession's reaction to every physical problem I developed, including nearsightedness, was to give me a tetanus shot. Not only that, but the medical professionals would always lie about it.

''You'll hardly feel it!'' they'd say, coming at me with a needle the size of a harpoon. As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. Granted, Dracula would come into your room at night and bite into your neck and suck out all your blood, but there was a positive side to this; namely, you could turn into a bat and stay out all night. Whereas I could see no pluses with the tetanus shot.

Of course, today I no longer have this childish phobia, because, as a mature adult, I can lie.

''I just had a tetanus shot this morning!'' I can say, if the issue ever arises. "Eight of them, in fact!''

But I'm still afraid of medical care. And I'm not encouraged by TV medical dramas such as ''E.R.'' If you watch these shows, you've probably noticed that whenever some pathetic civilian gets wheeled into the hospital emergency room on a stretcher, he or she is immediately pounced upon by enough medical personnel to form a hospital softball league, all competing to see who can do the scariest thing to the victim. Apparently there's a clause in the standard Television Performers' Contract stating that every character in a medical drama gets to take a crack at emergency patients:

First doctor: I'll give him a shot!

Second doctor: I'll pound his chest!

Third doctor: I'll stick a tube way up his nose!

Fourth doctor: I'll find an unoccupied section of his body and cut it open for no good reason!

Janitor: I'll wash his mouth out with a toilet brush!

Now you're probably saying: "Dave, you big baby, those are just TV shows. In real life, bad things do not happen to people who fall into the hands of medical care.''

Excuse me for one second while I laugh so hard that my keyboard is short-circuited by drool. Because I happen to be holding in my hand a bulletin-board notice that was sent to me by a Vermont orthopedic surgeon named either ''David H. Bahnson, M.D.'' or ''Oee Bali,'' depending on whether you're reading his letterhead or his signature.

Dr. Bahnson told me, in a phone interview, that he found this notice over the ''scrub sink,'' which is the place where doctors wash their hands after they operate so that they won't get flecks of your vital organs on their Lexus upholstery.

No, seriously, the scrub sink is where they wash their hands before operating, and Dr. Bahnson said that this notice had been prominently displayed there for several months. It is entitled -- I am not making this up -- "Emergency Procedure: Fighting Fire on the Surgical Patient.''

Yes, you read that correctly. Dr. Bahnson told me that, although it has not happened to him, fires sometimes break out on patients during surgery, particularly when hot medical implements accidentally come into contact with surgical drapes.

The bulletin-board notice discusses two types of situations: ''small fire on the patient'' and ''large fire on the patient.'' There are step-by-step instructions for dealing with both of these; Step 3 under ''large fire on the patient,'' for example, is: "Care for the patient.''

I was surprised that the procedure was so definite. You'd think that, what with all these medical lawsuits, the instructions would call for more caution on the part of the doctors. (''Mrs. Dweemer, we think you might be on fire, but we won't know for sure until we have a specialist fly in from Switzerland to take a look.'' )

Now, before I get a lot of irate mail from the medical community, let me stress that not all surgical patients catch on fire. Some of them also explode. I am referring here to an article from The Medical Post, sent in by alert reader Lauren Leighton, headlined: ''Beware Exploding Patients.'' This article states that nitrous oxide -- which is sometimes used as an anesthetic in stomach surgery -- can get mixed up with intestinal gases, which have been proven to be highly combustible in countless scientific experiments conducted in fraternity houses. If this mixture is ignited by a spark from a surgical implement such as an electric cautery, the result can be what the article refers to as "intra-abdominal fires.''

In what could be the single most remarkable statement that I have ever read in a medical article, one expert is quoted as saying -- I swear this is a real quote -- "Patients aren't exploding all over, but there is the potential for it.''

Ha ha! I certainly am feeling reassured!

No, really, I'm sure we're talking about a very small number of patients exploding or catching on fire. So if you, personally, are scheduled to undergo surgery, you needn't give this matter another thought, assuming that you have taken the basic precaution of having a personal sprinkler system installed on your body.

No, seriously, I'm sure your operation will go just fine. And even in the unlikely event that you do explode, you may rest assured that, no matter how many pieces you wind up in, every one of those pieces will, in accordance with modern medical standards, receive a tetanus shot.

Early Writer's Block

Ten Things A Cat Thinks About

1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.
2. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?
3. Why doesn't the government do something about dogs?
4. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have alterior motives?
5. Hmmm... If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can't we cats ever get these stupid dogs to do anything for us?
6. This looks like a good spot for a nap.
7. Hey -- no kidding, I'm sure that's the can opener.
8. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of their own if we cats hadn't given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place?
9. If there's a God, how can He allow neutering?
10. If that really was the can opener, I'll play finicky just to let them know who's boss!

Mensa Convention

Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe.

While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the implements at hand?

Clearly this was a job for Mensa!

The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..."

"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

New Feature on Google Maps

Now you can change customize your driving directions on Google Maps by simply dragging & dropping the default directions to your preferred roads or highways, route around traffic, or add multiple stops on your way.

maps.google.com

Rubes

Tips to Keep Your Family Vacation Affordable and Fun

C. Scott Houser

Does it ever make sense to stretch your spending, even if it means temporarily busting your budget or borrowing from your college fund? When the cause is as worthy as family vacations, the answer is a resounding "Yes!" For over 20 summers, when our children were still at home, our family always took a two week vacation. I wouldn't trade the fun and value which those vacations brought our family, even for "full ride" college scholarships for all five kids. I'd like to encourage you to begin now planning a memorable and affordable family vacation for this summer. From our experiences, here are some tips that can help.

• Budget realistically. Vacations need not be expensive. Budget an amount and stick to it. If you're driving, set a fixed spending amount ($200 per day, for example). Include all of your expenses, gas, meals, admissions, special activities, etc. Involve your children in the process. Share with them that conserving money on one day allows them to go to a water park on another day. Be creative. To save money, our family typically ate only one meal in a restaurant per day. For the other two, we prepared our own food and either ate in the hotel room or had a picnic. Take turns letting the kids choose the type of food???and, if you are really adventurous, the restaurant???each day. They feel important and it minimizes arguments. Shop around for hotel discounts. Paying the listed rate for a hotel room is like paying full retail for a mattress.

• Set your itinerary. Agreeing on an itinerary is important because adults and children have different ideas of "fun." I wanted to do things that I couldn't do at home: drive through the mountains, visit historical sights, go horseback riding, etc. Our children basically wanted to do what they could do at home: watch TV, visit a man-made attraction like Six Flags, or swim in the hotel pool. You gotta compromise. Every summer, my kids gave me my day in the mountains where we did nothing but drive through the Rockies. They even tried to look semi-interested. As a compromise, I did things that I thought were a total waste of money. After all, vacations are for the whole family.
  
  Be flexible. Not every one of our days was planned. This can be risky, but sometimes the memories are worth it. One summer, we just happened to be in the Denver area during a Promise Keepers men's conference. The only accommodations we could find were at "Ace's Motel and Kitchenettes." If you miss pink stucco exteriors and green shag carpeting, I'll give you Ace's number.

• Stay in one place. Admittedly, this is from Dad's perspective because he is the one who packs the trunk. For at least part of your vacation, pick a place (like a family camp or the beach) where you are not packing and unpacking the car every day. Having five kids and your spouse packing and aiming toward a scheduled departure time begins to take on aspects of a cattle drive. Staying in one place allows you to relax for awhile.

• Decide on the ground rules. How many times have you been on a family vacation and seen parents and their children arguing? Vacations are supposed to be fun, not a battleground. Parents should establish the rules in advance so that arguments don't take joy away from the day. For example, take children's spending. To them, nothing in a souvenir shop is too tacky or overpriced. How did we solve this dilemma? Simple. They could buy what they wanted with their own money but they couldn't ask me for more. A few months prior to our vacation, I began reminding them that they should be saving their funds. Some did, some didn't. On the eve of our departure, I gave them each $20 to supplement their savings. After that, they were on their own. If they spent it the first day, they were out of luck. Knowing in advance the ground rules on spending, fast food restaurants, and sharing the Game Boy saves countless arguments and embarrassing moments.

• The best things in life can be free. Prior to leaving, we checked the websites of where we would be visiting. The information we gleaned was invaluable. Couple this information with an AAA Tour Book and you can fill many days with no-cost activities. One of our best days was visiting an aircraft museum (free, but donations accepted) which was fully staffed with World War II veterans who were volunteering their time to restore the planes and serve as tour guides. They were glad to have us and our kids found them fascinating.

• The second best things in life are almost free. Almost free can be categorized in the $3 to $5 admission category. One of our favorite activities was minor league baseball???if that isn't Americana, I don't know what is. Later, we became National Park groupies. Besides being a good way to recoup a good benefit from your tax dollars, National Parks almost always inspire awe at God's creation. Another activity is to visit the small town county fairs, rodeos, and 4-H exhibits. If you're discouraged about the state of affairs in our country, these activities will give you an uplift.

• Have a purpose. Although we have gone to the Mecca of family vacation spots, Disney World (where I felt like a robbery victim), the best vacations are ones where a part of it had a purpose. For several years, we attended a family camp, Bear Trap Ranch, sponsored by InterVarsity in Colorado. The camp is a combination of spiritual input and outdoor activities such as hiking and rappelling. Several families would come back the same week each year, and we made friends all across the country. Our family benefited from the spiritual truth of family camps.
  
  When I say purpose, I'm thinking of tradition. It may be that your tradition is getting together with relatives at the beach so that distant cousins can get to know one another. It may be a vacation centered around an activity that the whole family can enjoy, such as skiing. Times are changing and life seems disconnected. Traditional family vacations build a family foundation that hasn't changed since you and your sister fought over your half of the back seat.

• Publish it. Regardless of what you've done or where you've gone, it's always fun to remember it. My wife began taking a large scrapbook with us on our family vacations. As we were driving, we dictated what happened that day and left space to paste in photographs, postcards, admission tickets, etc. When we read about vacations past, we relive the memories. Some entries are exciting???such as when we saw a bear. Others are funny ("You know you're in trouble when the highlight of the day is having your pediatrician phone in an anti-diarrhea prescription"). No event is too small to document. It all looks humorous in hindsight.

We took the same basic two week vacation for 20+ years. Having a purpose in mind and rules to live by made it fun. Having the whole family together made it great. These days the kids are gone, but my wife and I are still dedicated to our two week vacation. And because we built such great memories, we can count on every new vacation day offering up a sight or event that reminds us of the fun times we shared with our kids.

By the way, we thought the family vacation would become a thing of the past, but we are discovering that it might be even a better time than the holidays to gather the kids, spouses, and grandkids. It can be hard to get everyone home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, but rent a beach house for a week and they flock to you!

Please, budget for a family vacation, especially before your family disperses. It could be one of the best investments you'll ever make.

Published since 1990, Sound Mind Investing is America's best-selling financial newsletter written from a biblical perspective. Visit the Sound Mind Investing website.

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