- The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is indigestion.
- You are proud of your lawnmower.
- 8 a.m. is your idea of "sleeping in."
- People call you at 8 p.m. and ask: "Did I wake you?"
- Your high school diploma is the color of buttermilk.
- Nobody ever tells you to slow down.
- You've seen Halley's Comet ... twice.
- * You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
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