All In One Kitchen

Theft in New Zealand

Police in New Zealand were mystified by the apparent theft of a complete toilet bowl from a police station in Auckland.

When a local news reporter asked the police sergeant if they had any leads, he replied, "At present we have nothing to go on."

Human Tetris!

What Time Is It?

On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"

The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to 'Happy Hour.'"

Always Feeling Tired? What You Can Do

Dr. Cherry

"Fatigue robs you of the energy you need to keep up with the demands placed on you, to enjoy your life, even to make the changes in your life needed to maintain your health. Fatigue puts pressure on your work, your home life, and your relationships - which only makes you more tired. It can be a downward spiral..."

Those words from a popular Web site for women (www.womentowomen.com) say a lot about how a lack of energy affects so many of our lives. In fact, fatigue is among the most common complaints doctors hear from their patients.

So why are so many of us so tired so often, and what can we do about it? Fatigue can have a variety of lifestyle causes. Here are some of the major ones - along with solutions - according to the Mayo Clinic. (In my next newsletter, I'll discuss when you should see your doctor about your fatigue.)

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Lack of sleep. Getting even an hour less than the sound slumber you need each night (seven to eight hours is the ideal, according to most experts) can leave you drowsy and unable to manage your daily routine. As we get older, it becomes harder to get uninterrupted sleep, we tend to sleep less soundly, and we often awaken earlier.

Solution: Practice good sleep habits. Most experts say not to eat, read or watch television in bed. For a better night's sleep, keep your bedroom cool, dark and quiet. Try to establish a regular sleep schedule by going to bed and waking up at about the same time each day. If you nap during the day, do it early and keep it short. Also, schedule any physical activity at least six hours before bedtime and don't eat a large late-night meal.

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Stress and anxiety. Going through life anxious and on edge can keep you from relaxing and getting the rest you need. If you're so busy that you're running from one task to the next without a break, it's eventually going to wear you down.

Solution: Reduce stress. Be realistic about your limitations (learn to say "no"), and put aside time each day to do something you enjoy.

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Inactivity. It's a common excuse: "I'm too tired to exercise" - so you don't. But engaging in moderate physical activity can help decrease stress, improve mood and leave you feeling energized. Just don't overexert yourself at first if you haven't been exercising.

Solution: Include at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity, such as brisk walking, swimming or gardening each day. If that's too much, start with 10 minutes several times throughout the day. Once you get moving, you'll be surprised at the stamina you'll feel.

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Eating habits. If you're not eating properly or drinking enough fluids (fatigue is often a sign of dehydration), your body isn't getting the fuel and fluid it needs.

Solution: Start your day with a low-fat, high-fiber breakfast that includes plenty of complex carbohydrates, such as whole grains and fruits for lasting energy. Stay away from sugary cereals and juices and caffeinated drinks. They can make you feel sluggish later in the day. Don't skip meals; refuel every three or four hours.

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Certain medications. Some medications (both prescription and over-the-counter), including many beta-blockers and antihistamines, can cause fatigue. In addition, some cold medications and pain relievers contain caffeine and other stimulants that can keep you up at night.

Solution: Talk to your doctor if you think your medication is making you tired. He or she might be able to suggest an alternative medication or make other recommendations, such as taking your medication at a different time of day.

For more information on Dr. Cherry's ministry, visit his Web site: http://www.AbundantNutrition.com

WANTED: Helicopter students

Jay Leno Sniffs Anti-Helium

Digging for Hidden Fees

Mary Hunt

Have you ever wondered how banks can offer free checking accounts and still stay in business? And what’s with really nice computer printers for $99? How can companies do that and not lose their shirts?

Take that printer for example. What unsuspecting customers don’t realize is the company has attached itself to their wallets. They’ll fork over about $1,500 in ink cartridges in the first four years to use that dandy $99 printer - cartridges that never go on sale. That’s where the company makes its money. Hidden fees.

And about your “free” checking account. Just how much did you pay in ATM fees this past year? Uh, huh. You guessed it: hidden fees.

We live in a fee-driven economy. Fees are hiding everywhere - even in hotel rooms. Sure, you think you got the deal of the century - just $80 per night - but that’s going to disappear once you realize you have to pay a $20-a-day parking fee, $2 for every local phone call and if in a moment of weakness you pluck those $12 cashews from the mini bar, you’ve just been clobbered by the equivalent of hidden fees.

How about your cell phone? Since January 2002 wireless providers have charged customers nearly $1 billion in additional fees. These are not the fees you may have been so careful to avoid like roaming and extra-minute charges. These are official-looking add-ons with names like Federal Recovery Fee, Federal E911 Fee and Number Portability Service Charge.

How up to speed are you with your monthly credit-card statements? If you’re late by even five minutes with a payment, prepare to get slapped with a $35 late fee. Ditto if you go over limit.

Hidden fees are lurking everywhere. Whether you get trapped into paying them all depends on how you play the game.

Basically there are two kinds of consumers: Sophisticates and myopes. Sophisticates play the hidden-fee game with great success. They read all the fine print. There are few lengths to which they will not go to avoid paying hidden fees. They are forever having fees waived because they dare to speak up and challenge them.

Myopes - persons suffering from short-sightedness or “myopia” - don’t see hidden fees. Companies love these naive consumers who pay hidden fees without flinching and without a single word of complaint.

The best way for myopes to get their financial vision corrected is to hang around with sophisticates. Pay attention to what they do.

To counteract the high cost of printer cartridges sophisticates print on “draft” mode when the quality of the print job is not critical. That makes their cartridges last longer. You’d never catch a sophisticate plucking a tasty morsel from a hotel mini bar. They scrutinize a car rental agreement before they sign on the dotted line, refusing to accept the additional insurance (hidden fee). They fill the rental with gas before returning it because they know what happens if you don’t - $6-a-gallon added as a hidden fee. They question every fee, every charge on everything. Nothing gets past a sophisticate.

Sophisticates are on to the sneaky tricks of gift card providers. They know that gift cards begin melting away through dormancy fees and maintenance.

Have you figured out to which group of consumers you belong? Let’s check:

Do you pretty much believe that by some miracle there really is a “free” checking account?

When you rent a car do you cave in to all the add ons?

Do you just pay your cell phone bill without first questioning every charge on that statement?

If you answered yes, there’s a pretty good chance that you are a financial myope. But do not despair. There is hope for your condition. You can give yourself financial lasik surgery simply by making the decision to stop being naive and start digging.

Uncovering hidden fees is good for us. It makes us better consumers. It builds our financial confidence and provides a little padding for the wallet, too. But more than that, digging for hidden fees - and then avoiding them - is empowering.

And it’s pretty good insurance against getting ripped off, too.

"Debt-Proof Living" was founded in 1992 by Mary Hunt. What began as a newsletter to encourage and empower people to break free from the bondage of consumer debt has grown into a huge community of ordinary people who have achieved remarkable success in their quest to effectively manage their money and stay out of debt. Today, "The Cheapskate Monthly" is read by close to 100,000 Cheapskates.

All Hands Meeting

CLICK FOR LARGER

The Inventor of the slip-and-slide becomes a father

Oops

Teenagers trash can

In the desert

At The Flip-Flop Quality Control Center

Don't fall asleep at the game...

Helicopter First Flight - No Training

Police Comments

These 16 police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief [of Police] Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Your Guide to Never Feeling Tired Again

22 ways to tackle life's biggest energy zappers.
Every day, 2.2 million Americans complain of being tired. Most of us chalk it up to having too much to do and not enough time to do it in, especially during extra-busy periods. But often the true culprits are our everyday habits: what we eat, how we sleep, and how we cope emotionally. Read on for some simple, recharging changes that can help you tackle all of the energy stealers in your life."
READ MORE...

10 Things Your Grocery Store Doesn't Want You to Know

By Sally Wadyka for MSN Health & Fitness

Grocery shopping seems like a harmless enough activity. It’s a chore, but it’s one that most of us do at least once a week, without giving much thought to what’s going on behind the scenes at the supermarket.

How we shop has become a science that’s studied endlessly. “Market researchers have worked for years to come up with ways to make sure shoppers see as many products as possible, because the more they see, the more they buy,” says Marion Nestle, author of What to Eat: An Aisle-by-Aisle Guide to Savvy Food Choices and Good Eating.

So to make yourself a smarter shopper, learn about the top tricks and other secrets lurking at the supermarket."

READ MORE...

Man nearly sucked out of Seattle-bound plane

Man survives with just cuts and bruises
BOISE, Idaho - A flight nurse who had his head and right arm sucked through the broken window of an air ambulance at 20,000 feet said the hard shell of his headset frame may have saved his life.
READ MORE...

SAP admits to corporate espionage against Oracle

Uh oh, we've got ourselves a true-blue corporate competitive intelligence espionage fiasco exploding on the international stage. Germany's SAP has admitted to "inappropriate downloads" from arch-rival, Oracle in the US. Oracle is suing SAP with claims that it is guilty of "corporate theft on a grand scale" after hacking into Oracle's computer network and stealing a "wide range of copyrighted software and other material" from their Peoplesoft business unit. Taking the presidential classic, "I didn't inhale" defense, SAP admits to stealing the data but claims it never left the systems of their wholly owned subsidiary, TomorrowNow (where SAP has "made changes" to management). Well, at least now we can more clearly see why the French are so concerned with their sensitive data being hosted outside of their immediate control.

Read

This won't hurt a bit

Dave Barry

I will frankly admit that I'm afraid of medical care. I trace this fear to my childhood, when, as far as I could tell, the medical profession's reaction to every physical problem I developed, including nearsightedness, was to give me a tetanus shot. Not only that, but the medical professionals would always lie about it.

''You'll hardly feel it!'' they'd say, coming at me with a needle the size of a harpoon. As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. Granted, Dracula would come into your room at night and bite into your neck and suck out all your blood, but there was a positive side to this; namely, you could turn into a bat and stay out all night. Whereas I could see no pluses with the tetanus shot.

Of course, today I no longer have this childish phobia, because, as a mature adult, I can lie.

''I just had a tetanus shot this morning!'' I can say, if the issue ever arises. "Eight of them, in fact!''

But I'm still afraid of medical care. And I'm not encouraged by TV medical dramas such as ''E.R.'' If you watch these shows, you've probably noticed that whenever some pathetic civilian gets wheeled into the hospital emergency room on a stretcher, he or she is immediately pounced upon by enough medical personnel to form a hospital softball league, all competing to see who can do the scariest thing to the victim. Apparently there's a clause in the standard Television Performers' Contract stating that every character in a medical drama gets to take a crack at emergency patients:

First doctor: I'll give him a shot!

Second doctor: I'll pound his chest!

Third doctor: I'll stick a tube way up his nose!

Fourth doctor: I'll find an unoccupied section of his body and cut it open for no good reason!

Janitor: I'll wash his mouth out with a toilet brush!

Now you're probably saying: "Dave, you big baby, those are just TV shows. In real life, bad things do not happen to people who fall into the hands of medical care.''

Excuse me for one second while I laugh so hard that my keyboard is short-circuited by drool. Because I happen to be holding in my hand a bulletin-board notice that was sent to me by a Vermont orthopedic surgeon named either ''David H. Bahnson, M.D.'' or ''Oee Bali,'' depending on whether you're reading his letterhead or his signature.

Dr. Bahnson told me, in a phone interview, that he found this notice over the ''scrub sink,'' which is the place where doctors wash their hands after they operate so that they won't get flecks of your vital organs on their Lexus upholstery.

No, seriously, the scrub sink is where they wash their hands before operating, and Dr. Bahnson said that this notice had been prominently displayed there for several months. It is entitled -- I am not making this up -- "Emergency Procedure: Fighting Fire on the Surgical Patient.''

Yes, you read that correctly. Dr. Bahnson told me that, although it has not happened to him, fires sometimes break out on patients during surgery, particularly when hot medical implements accidentally come into contact with surgical drapes.

The bulletin-board notice discusses two types of situations: ''small fire on the patient'' and ''large fire on the patient.'' There are step-by-step instructions for dealing with both of these; Step 3 under ''large fire on the patient,'' for example, is: "Care for the patient.''

I was surprised that the procedure was so definite. You'd think that, what with all these medical lawsuits, the instructions would call for more caution on the part of the doctors. (''Mrs. Dweemer, we think you might be on fire, but we won't know for sure until we have a specialist fly in from Switzerland to take a look.'' )

Now, before I get a lot of irate mail from the medical community, let me stress that not all surgical patients catch on fire. Some of them also explode. I am referring here to an article from The Medical Post, sent in by alert reader Lauren Leighton, headlined: ''Beware Exploding Patients.'' This article states that nitrous oxide -- which is sometimes used as an anesthetic in stomach surgery -- can get mixed up with intestinal gases, which have been proven to be highly combustible in countless scientific experiments conducted in fraternity houses. If this mixture is ignited by a spark from a surgical implement such as an electric cautery, the result can be what the article refers to as "intra-abdominal fires.''

In what could be the single most remarkable statement that I have ever read in a medical article, one expert is quoted as saying -- I swear this is a real quote -- "Patients aren't exploding all over, but there is the potential for it.''

Ha ha! I certainly am feeling reassured!

No, really, I'm sure we're talking about a very small number of patients exploding or catching on fire. So if you, personally, are scheduled to undergo surgery, you needn't give this matter another thought, assuming that you have taken the basic precaution of having a personal sprinkler system installed on your body.

No, seriously, I'm sure your operation will go just fine. And even in the unlikely event that you do explode, you may rest assured that, no matter how many pieces you wind up in, every one of those pieces will, in accordance with modern medical standards, receive a tetanus shot.

Early Writer's Block

Ten Things A Cat Thinks About

1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.
2. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?
3. Why doesn't the government do something about dogs?
4. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have alterior motives?
5. Hmmm... If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can't we cats ever get these stupid dogs to do anything for us?
6. This looks like a good spot for a nap.
7. Hey -- no kidding, I'm sure that's the can opener.
8. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of their own if we cats hadn't given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place?
9. If there's a God, how can He allow neutering?
10. If that really was the can opener, I'll play finicky just to let them know who's boss!

Mensa Convention

Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe.

While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the implements at hand?

Clearly this was a job for Mensa!

The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..."

"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

New Feature on Google Maps

Now you can change customize your driving directions on Google Maps by simply dragging & dropping the default directions to your preferred roads or highways, route around traffic, or add multiple stops on your way.

maps.google.com

Rubes

Tips to Keep Your Family Vacation Affordable and Fun

C. Scott Houser

Does it ever make sense to stretch your spending, even if it means temporarily busting your budget or borrowing from your college fund? When the cause is as worthy as family vacations, the answer is a resounding "Yes!" For over 20 summers, when our children were still at home, our family always took a two week vacation. I wouldn't trade the fun and value which those vacations brought our family, even for "full ride" college scholarships for all five kids. I'd like to encourage you to begin now planning a memorable and affordable family vacation for this summer. From our experiences, here are some tips that can help.

• Budget realistically. Vacations need not be expensive. Budget an amount and stick to it. If you're driving, set a fixed spending amount ($200 per day, for example). Include all of your expenses, gas, meals, admissions, special activities, etc. Involve your children in the process. Share with them that conserving money on one day allows them to go to a water park on another day. Be creative. To save money, our family typically ate only one meal in a restaurant per day. For the other two, we prepared our own food and either ate in the hotel room or had a picnic. Take turns letting the kids choose the type of food???and, if you are really adventurous, the restaurant???each day. They feel important and it minimizes arguments. Shop around for hotel discounts. Paying the listed rate for a hotel room is like paying full retail for a mattress.

• Set your itinerary. Agreeing on an itinerary is important because adults and children have different ideas of "fun." I wanted to do things that I couldn't do at home: drive through the mountains, visit historical sights, go horseback riding, etc. Our children basically wanted to do what they could do at home: watch TV, visit a man-made attraction like Six Flags, or swim in the hotel pool. You gotta compromise. Every summer, my kids gave me my day in the mountains where we did nothing but drive through the Rockies. They even tried to look semi-interested. As a compromise, I did things that I thought were a total waste of money. After all, vacations are for the whole family.
  
  Be flexible. Not every one of our days was planned. This can be risky, but sometimes the memories are worth it. One summer, we just happened to be in the Denver area during a Promise Keepers men's conference. The only accommodations we could find were at "Ace's Motel and Kitchenettes." If you miss pink stucco exteriors and green shag carpeting, I'll give you Ace's number.

• Stay in one place. Admittedly, this is from Dad's perspective because he is the one who packs the trunk. For at least part of your vacation, pick a place (like a family camp or the beach) where you are not packing and unpacking the car every day. Having five kids and your spouse packing and aiming toward a scheduled departure time begins to take on aspects of a cattle drive. Staying in one place allows you to relax for awhile.

• Decide on the ground rules. How many times have you been on a family vacation and seen parents and their children arguing? Vacations are supposed to be fun, not a battleground. Parents should establish the rules in advance so that arguments don't take joy away from the day. For example, take children's spending. To them, nothing in a souvenir shop is too tacky or overpriced. How did we solve this dilemma? Simple. They could buy what they wanted with their own money but they couldn't ask me for more. A few months prior to our vacation, I began reminding them that they should be saving their funds. Some did, some didn't. On the eve of our departure, I gave them each $20 to supplement their savings. After that, they were on their own. If they spent it the first day, they were out of luck. Knowing in advance the ground rules on spending, fast food restaurants, and sharing the Game Boy saves countless arguments and embarrassing moments.

• The best things in life can be free. Prior to leaving, we checked the websites of where we would be visiting. The information we gleaned was invaluable. Couple this information with an AAA Tour Book and you can fill many days with no-cost activities. One of our best days was visiting an aircraft museum (free, but donations accepted) which was fully staffed with World War II veterans who were volunteering their time to restore the planes and serve as tour guides. They were glad to have us and our kids found them fascinating.

• The second best things in life are almost free. Almost free can be categorized in the $3 to $5 admission category. One of our favorite activities was minor league baseball???if that isn't Americana, I don't know what is. Later, we became National Park groupies. Besides being a good way to recoup a good benefit from your tax dollars, National Parks almost always inspire awe at God's creation. Another activity is to visit the small town county fairs, rodeos, and 4-H exhibits. If you're discouraged about the state of affairs in our country, these activities will give you an uplift.

• Have a purpose. Although we have gone to the Mecca of family vacation spots, Disney World (where I felt like a robbery victim), the best vacations are ones where a part of it had a purpose. For several years, we attended a family camp, Bear Trap Ranch, sponsored by InterVarsity in Colorado. The camp is a combination of spiritual input and outdoor activities such as hiking and rappelling. Several families would come back the same week each year, and we made friends all across the country. Our family benefited from the spiritual truth of family camps.
  
  When I say purpose, I'm thinking of tradition. It may be that your tradition is getting together with relatives at the beach so that distant cousins can get to know one another. It may be a vacation centered around an activity that the whole family can enjoy, such as skiing. Times are changing and life seems disconnected. Traditional family vacations build a family foundation that hasn't changed since you and your sister fought over your half of the back seat.

• Publish it. Regardless of what you've done or where you've gone, it's always fun to remember it. My wife began taking a large scrapbook with us on our family vacations. As we were driving, we dictated what happened that day and left space to paste in photographs, postcards, admission tickets, etc. When we read about vacations past, we relive the memories. Some entries are exciting???such as when we saw a bear. Others are funny ("You know you're in trouble when the highlight of the day is having your pediatrician phone in an anti-diarrhea prescription"). No event is too small to document. It all looks humorous in hindsight.

We took the same basic two week vacation for 20+ years. Having a purpose in mind and rules to live by made it fun. Having the whole family together made it great. These days the kids are gone, but my wife and I are still dedicated to our two week vacation. And because we built such great memories, we can count on every new vacation day offering up a sight or event that reminds us of the fun times we shared with our kids.

By the way, we thought the family vacation would become a thing of the past, but we are discovering that it might be even a better time than the holidays to gather the kids, spouses, and grandkids. It can be hard to get everyone home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, but rent a beach house for a week and they flock to you!

Please, budget for a family vacation, especially before your family disperses. It could be one of the best investments you'll ever make.

Published since 1990, Sound Mind Investing is America's best-selling financial newsletter written from a biblical perspective. Visit the Sound Mind Investing website.

Jet Hit Runway Without Landing Gear

Hate when that happens...

An investigation into the aborted landing of an American Eagle jet at Logan International Airport last week found an electronic problem caused the jet to touch the runway without landing gear extended.

READ MORE...

Final Wish...

An elderly man was at home, upstairs, on his deathbed when he smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he died. So he rolled out of bed, crawled to the landing, hobbled down the stairs and crawled into the kitchen. With his last remaining strength he crawled to the table and was just barely able to lift his withered arm to the cookie sheet. As he grasped a warm, moist chocolate chip cookie, his wife suddenly whacked his hand with a spatula. Gasping for breath, he asked her, "Why did you do that?" She said, "Those are for the funeral."

Paris Hilton gets snuffed by MSNBC anchor

MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski refuses to talk about Paris Hilton as a "Lead Story" on the Morning Joe show.

Close To Home

Billboard Wars

Checkout this Real Billboard in Mumbai — First there was Jet Airways, then Kingfisher responded to Jet Airways by putting up their own Billboard and then it was GoAir which responded to both.

Church Signs

Aborted Takeoff

The 794-hour private pilot made an uneventful emergency landing on a public highway following a loss of engine power due to fuel starvation. Several attempts were made by the pilot to have the aircraft placed on a flatbed trailer and recovered to a suitable airport; however, the width of the trailer available for recovery was too narrow to accommodate the airplane's main landing gear. After several failed attempts to recover the airplane by ground, the pilot elected to fill the fuel tanks with 15 gallons of fuel and, in coordination with local law enforcement, attempt to takeoff from the private highway.

Three Holy Men and a Bear

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.
We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

Close to Home

Chocolate Ice Cream

A man approached an ice cream van and said, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."

The girl behind the counter replied, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate."

"In that case," the man continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream."

"You don't understand, sir," the girl said. "We have no chocolate."

"Then just give me some chocolate," he insisted.

Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, "Sir, will you spell 'van,' as in 'vanilla'?"

The man spelled, "V-A-N."

"Now spell 'straw,' as in 'strawberry.'"

"OK. 'S-T-R-A-W.'"

"Now," the girl asked, "spell 'stink,' as in 'chocolate.'"

The man hesitated and then looked confused as he replied, "There is no stink in chocolate."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she screamed.

Princesshood is Bad...

New Lexus not good enough for lil' princess...

What the Bible says about Gratitude

Philippians 2:14:

¹⁴Do everything without complaining or arguing,

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18:

¹⁶Be joyful always; ¹⁷pray continually; ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 3:15:

¹⁵Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Ephesians 5:4:
⁴Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Ephesians 5:19-20:
¹⁹Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, ²⁰always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Timothy 2:1-2:

¹I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— ²for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.

Psalm 92:1-2:

¹ It is good to praise the LORD
and make music to your name, O Most High,

² to proclaim your love in the morning
and your faithfulness at night,

Psalm 100:4-5:

⁴ Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.

⁵ For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 140:12-13:

¹² I know that the LORD secures justice for the poor
and upholds the cause of the needy.

¹³ Surely the righteous will praise your name
and the upright will live before you.

Britains Got Talent - A Star Is Born

Laws of Parenting

1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.

4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

5. Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.

6. If the shoe fits...it's expensive.

7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

9. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.

Batten Down the Hatches!

Batten Down the Hatches! 1
Originally uploaded by JetMan777.

This morning's thunderstorm in Sienna Plantation

See all 5 photos

No Novocaine

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want novocaine because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."

The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"

The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

Haircut Conversations

A Woman's Conversation About a Haircut:

Oh! That's so cute!

Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she was gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Oh no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Oh, that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms. See how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

A Man's Conversation About a Haircut:

Haircut?

Yep.

New Cell Phones

Cool Desktop of the Day

Houston Galleria-5
Originally uploaded by JetMan777.

Cool Desktop Of The Day

A Glimpse of Bixby Bridge
Originally uploaded by zpowderhound.

"Lawn Mowing for Teenagers" 101

Today's Nerdy Tattoo Award goes to...

Hacker Safety

The hacker hit the ball into the rough and landed on an anthill.

He tried three times to hit the ball and each time he missed the ball and hit the anthill. Ants went flying all over the place.

One ant turned to the other ant and said, "If we are going to survive, we had better get on the ball."

Places I'd Hate To Be...

(click for larger)

Rejected "Curious George" Titles

Letter from Grandma

Grandma's letter. She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Granddaughter: the other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a "Honk If You Love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did - what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus, because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!! Will write again soon.

Love, Grandma

Logan bathes (and eats?)

Logan bathes (and eats?)
Originally uploaded by JetMan777.

Bath time at Mimi's & Poppi's

Close to Home

Campfire Enforcement

Friday's Lame Excuse Award goes to...

"A defense attorney tried a different argument to win his convicted client a new murder trial: the attorney was too sleepy."

Disciplining Your Child: Let Consequences do the Teaching

Hal E. Runkel, LMFT

As parents, we have within our reach the greatest and most effective disciplinary strategy in the world. No, it’s not military school or “Brat Camp”. The single greatest teaching and discipline strategy is a phenomenon woven into the fabric of life itself.

Simply put, here it is: our choices have consequences. Every single one of them.

There is a law of sowing and reaping that, when we think about it, has taught us more than any lecture, textbook, or sermon. Whenever we are able to calmly reflect on our experience, including our mistakes, then we begin to own our choices and become healthier, more self-directed people.

But when it comes to our parenting, we don’t like to watch our children make mistakes. And we don’t like having to take the time and energy to enforce the consequences of those mistakes. So instead, we scream. We threaten. We hope it “works,” meaning we hope our screaming forces them to behave the way we need them to. When it doesn’t, we scream some more???and then our screaming becomes the consequence itself. This isn’t working and everyone knows it. No one is learning anything here, but what else can we do?

We can let the consequences do the screaming. We can learn to get our emotional anxiety out of the way and let the consequences do their job. So how do we do that? We learn to calm ourselves down. But before we do that, we must actively become interested in calming ourselves down, instead of focusing on getting our children to never make mistakes.

Here are some principles to follow when deciding to “let the consequences do the screaming”:

1. Don’t Ever Set a Consequence That Is Tougher For You To Enforce Than It Is For Them to Endure. How serious can you possibly be by grounding your teen-age daughter for a month? Are you crazy? Do you really think it’s possible to baby-sit her that long? When we overextend ourselves, it becomes that much easier to cave in when the emotional pressure hits. And thus, we break our promises and teach our kids not to trust our word.
   
   
2. There Are No Shortcuts To Setting Or Enforcing Consequences. Providing consistent discipline for our children is always time-consuming, sometimes exhausting, and never done from afar. That’s right; it’s supposed to be difficult. Reflect on the times when you have been consistent, when you have followed through. I guarantee you’ve been able to do it more than you think you have. Keep it going.
   
   
3. There Is No Magic Consequence, Guaranteed to Correct Your Child’s Behavior From Now On. So often we find ourselves searching for the magic pill, that one consequence that will make our kids feel remorse, make our kids change their behavior, and make our kids never do it again. The trouble is that the more we need the consequence to “work” like that, the more we invite our child to resist its effects altogether. The power of consequences is not found in short-term compliance, it is found in demonstrating consistently over the long-term that our choices have results.
   
   After you take PlayStation away, your son may say “Fine, I don’t care.” This is his effort to show that you haven’t gotten to him emotionally. Here’s a great response: “I don’t care that you don’t care. That’s not why I’m taking it away. I’m taking it away because of the choice you made to break curfew (or whatever infraction he committed).” Don’t set the consequence to prevent him from doing it again (he will). Set it so that a) you have something to do other than scream again; and b) he will learn to trust your word and learn about the law of sowing and reaping.
   
   
4. Only Choose Consequences You Are Willing To Endure Yourself. This may be the toughest principle for us as parents. We cannot expect our kids to handle the consequences of their choices any better than we do. So often we anxiously want our kids to learn lessons we have yet to master. Welcoming consequences into your home means welcoming them for yourself, and even letting your kids watch. Take your kids to traffic court and let them watch you take your medicine from the judge. I promise it becomes easier to enforce consequences when you yourself know how beneficial they can be for your own growth.

Hal E. Runkel, LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of the groundbreaking book ScreamFree Parenting: Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool, from Waterbrook Press. Visit www.ScreamFree.com for more information.

FAA Launches Online Medical Application Nationwide

Pilots have proven the value of an online medical application form through AOPA's TurboMedical interactive online form. TurboMedical, which has been a hit with members since its debut nearly six years ago, identifies medical conditions that will require additional documentation and provides pilots with the resources needed to gather the information and address the problem before meeting the aviation medical examiner (AME).

Now the FAA is rolling out its own online medical application, MedXPress, nationwide. As of June 15, all pilots will have access to the program. Those in the western United States have had access since April.

Unlike TurboMedical, the FAA's program does not identify problem medical conditions or medications, and once the application is sent, it can't be altered. AOPA encourages members to fill out TurboMedical before the FAA's form to prevent unnecessary deferrals. Remember, you can always just fill out TurboMedical online, print it out, and take it to your AME. TurboMedical can be attached to the FAA's medical application form so that you don't have to fill it out.

Choosing a photo-sharing site

Kim Komando

I have used Yahoo! Photos for years. I just learned that they are shutting down. They will transfer my photos to Flickr, Kodak EasyShare Gallery, Shutterfly, Snapfish or Photobucket. Which one has the best free service? I want to be able to share my photos with other people by sending a link.

Before I talk about the other photo-sharing sites, let me address what’s happening with Yahoo! Photos.

Yahoo! will begin closing Yahoo! Photos in June. It will focus on Flickr, a photo-sharing site it purchased in 2005.

This is sure to frustrate a lot of long-time users of Yahoo! Photos. But Yahoo! will help its members transition to a new photo-sharing site.

Obviously, Yahoo! would prefer to switch members to Flickr. But, it will offer several other options. You can also select Snapfish, Shutterfly, Kodak EasyShare Gallery or Photobucket.

You must create an account with one of the other sites. Once you verify your Yahoo! information with the site, it transfers your photos.

Now, the move could take some time. This all depends on the site you choose. Your photos will be put in a queue for transfer. The more people transferring, the slower things will be.

Yahoo! says that it will officially close in the fall. So you have some time to choose a new site. But don’t wait too long. When Yahoo! Photos closes, everything will be deleted.

I recommend that you start downloading your photos onto your computer immediately. But you already have them on your hard drive, right?

There could be hiccups with the transfer of your photos to another site. I wouldn’t want to run the risk of losing all of my photos.

Okay, now on to choosing a new photo-sharing site.

Choosing a new photo-sharing service will be a difficult task. They all have different features and restrictions. One isn’t necessarily better than another. It’s a matter of preference.

But it helps to know what you’re getting into before you make the switch. All of the services offer free accounts. I would sign up with all of the services now so you can test them.

The way they work will differ from Yahoo! Photos. But some may be more intuitive to you than others.

I’ve assembled information to help sort out features of the different sites. Keep in mind that this information refers to the free membership option. Many offer a paid service with more options. All of the sites let you invite others to view your photos.

With Flickr, you can upload up to 100 megabytes of photos each month. This refers to bandwidth, not storage; deleting photos won’t increase the amount you can upload.

File size is limited to five megabytes. Only small images are accessible. However, the originals are saved in case you upgrade to Flickr Pro. Also, you’ll only see your 200 most recent photos; if you upgrade your account, you’ll see the rest. Your free account will be deleted after 90 days of inactivity.

Flickr has a strong sense of community. Its users like to comment on others’ work. The photos also have more of an artistic bent.

Shutterfly gives you unlimited storage and no file size limit. It says that it has never deleted a photo. You can create slide shows and add captions to your photos. Of course, Shutterfly promotes products such as prints and calendars.

Snapfish also gives you unlimited storage. High-resolution images are kept for three months so you can make large prints. Then the photos are converted to a lower resolution, suitable for small prints.

Snapfish sells prints and other photo-related products. If you don’t make at least one purchase a year, your account is deleted.

Kodak EasyShare Gallery gives you unlimited storage. It does not specify a limit on file size. Like Snapfish, it deletes your account if you don’t make a purchase once every 12 months.

Photobucket is different from the other photo-sharing sites. It is designed to host images for blogs and auction sites.

Photobucket gives you one gigabyte of storage. You also get 25 gigabytes of bandwidth per month. If your photos are viewed a lot, they may not be available for others to view. Your photos are limited to one megabyte in size.

I hope this information helps. I have more photo tips on my site that you may find helpful:

• Kodak’s Preservation Discs
• Photo recovery programs
• Create a photo slide show screen saver

Remember to check out my Web site for free photo-editing software. And if you'd like, visit my scrapbook to see some of the photos I have online.

Kim :)

Air Force training: "Your First Landing"

Mystery Fruit

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