Friday, April 13, 2007
Clothes Hamper
from Crosswalk.com
I asked my two-year-old to take his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper.
He looked puzzled, and I explained, "You know; it's the place where we put our dirty clothes before they're washed."
My son picked up his things, trotted into my bedroom, and threw his clothes on the floor on his dad's side of the bed.
I asked my two-year-old to take his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper.
He looked puzzled, and I explained, "You know; it's the place where we put our dirty clothes before they're washed."
My son picked up his things, trotted into my bedroom, and threw his clothes on the floor on his dad's side of the bed.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Teaching Kids About Money Teaches Parents, Too
Mary Hunt
Children inherit physical traits from their parents. But there’s something else they inherit that many parents don’t consider???their financial behaviors.
Most parents believe that kids should start learning how to manage money before they start kindergarten. But many admit they don’t know where to start or what to teach.
From the moment they’re born, kids learn how to live by observing their parents. You can start teaching your kids about money by simply explaining to them what you’re doing when you make day-to-day saving and spending decisions. And the stuff you don’t want them to pick up? Stop doing it. And even when you blow it, don’t stop. Let real life give you the opportunity to teach your children what to do under those circumstances, too.
Never spend it all. Show your children how to save money. Tell them what a retirement account is and how interest works to make money grow. Most importantly, teach them that they’ll never be broke if they always save for the future.
Delay gratification. Look for opportunities to explain the principle of delayed gratification. Patience builds character. It’s better to save now and pay later. Teach kids the difference between needs and wants. Children need to understand how making financial sacrifices today can improve their financial situations in the future. It’s good for children to yearn. Having all they want whenever they want it does not prepare them to thrive in the real world.
Spending choices. Kids assume that if you have enough money you can have everything you want. And if you have everything you want then you are happy. Hmmm ... wonder where they got that?
Never tell your kids, “We can’t afford it.” Think about it. That tells the kids the only reason you can’t buy this or that is because we are poor and pathetic. If we had more money then we would be happy because we could buy whatever we want. Instead, tell your kids, “We don’t choose to spend our money that way.” Much better because you’ve established the principle that life is about choices. And making the right choices builds character. Now the subject isn’t about money, but rather about values.
Compare prices. The grocery store is a great place to show the kids how you compare unit prices???the price per ounce for example. Show them that just because something is on sale doesn’t mean it’s the best value. Comparing prices is like getting a second opinion so you can make the best decision.
How banks work. Kids think ATM machines are magic, so this is a lesson you need to address soon. They see you stick a plastic card in the slot and out pops money. Better still, you get to keep the magic plastic. The underlying truth in all of banking is that you have to deposit more than you withdraw; you can only take out what you’ve put in.
Kids also think that as long as there are checks in the checkbook, there’s money in the bank. You too, huh?
Teach the kids how a checking account works. Let them catch you in the act of paying bills, recording the checks you write and reconciling the monthly statement. Show the kids something really cool at Mvelopes (www.debtproofliving.mvelopes.com). This is an online budgeting system that turns your checking account into a visual playground where you divvy up your money into tiny envelopes. It’s fun and will visualize for the kids (for you, too) what it means to “pre-spend” your income.
Debit and credit cards. Your kids are growing up in a plastic world. It’s important that they understand as soon as possible what that means. First it’s easy to spend up a mountain of debt or blow through the contents of a bank account with just a little piece of plastic. But more importantly there’s a big world of consumer credit pulling on them to use plastic to live beyond their means.
Even if you’ve made mistakes in this area of consumer credit, you can make that a learning experience for your kids. You don’t need to reveal all of the details, but an occasional financial faux pas can provide a great opportunity to humanize money management. Kids benefit from seeing how problems are solved, too.
Talking frequently to your kids will give you the opportunity to communicate about life’s many lessons.
Teaching your kids about money will be eye-opening and fulfilling for them.
For you, too.
"Debt-Proof Living" was founded in 1992 by Mary Hunt. What began as a newsletter to encourage and empower people to break free from the bondage of consumer debt has grown into a huge community of ordinary people who have achieved remarkable success in their quest to effectively manage their money and stay out of debt. Today, "Debt-Proof Living" is read by close to 100,000 cheapskates.
Children inherit physical traits from their parents. But there’s something else they inherit that many parents don’t consider???their financial behaviors.
Most parents believe that kids should start learning how to manage money before they start kindergarten. But many admit they don’t know where to start or what to teach.
From the moment they’re born, kids learn how to live by observing their parents. You can start teaching your kids about money by simply explaining to them what you’re doing when you make day-to-day saving and spending decisions. And the stuff you don’t want them to pick up? Stop doing it. And even when you blow it, don’t stop. Let real life give you the opportunity to teach your children what to do under those circumstances, too.
Never spend it all. Show your children how to save money. Tell them what a retirement account is and how interest works to make money grow. Most importantly, teach them that they’ll never be broke if they always save for the future.
Delay gratification. Look for opportunities to explain the principle of delayed gratification. Patience builds character. It’s better to save now and pay later. Teach kids the difference between needs and wants. Children need to understand how making financial sacrifices today can improve their financial situations in the future. It’s good for children to yearn. Having all they want whenever they want it does not prepare them to thrive in the real world.
Spending choices. Kids assume that if you have enough money you can have everything you want. And if you have everything you want then you are happy. Hmmm ... wonder where they got that?
Never tell your kids, “We can’t afford it.” Think about it. That tells the kids the only reason you can’t buy this or that is because we are poor and pathetic. If we had more money then we would be happy because we could buy whatever we want. Instead, tell your kids, “We don’t choose to spend our money that way.” Much better because you’ve established the principle that life is about choices. And making the right choices builds character. Now the subject isn’t about money, but rather about values.
Compare prices. The grocery store is a great place to show the kids how you compare unit prices???the price per ounce for example. Show them that just because something is on sale doesn’t mean it’s the best value. Comparing prices is like getting a second opinion so you can make the best decision.
How banks work. Kids think ATM machines are magic, so this is a lesson you need to address soon. They see you stick a plastic card in the slot and out pops money. Better still, you get to keep the magic plastic. The underlying truth in all of banking is that you have to deposit more than you withdraw; you can only take out what you’ve put in.
Kids also think that as long as there are checks in the checkbook, there’s money in the bank. You too, huh?
Teach the kids how a checking account works. Let them catch you in the act of paying bills, recording the checks you write and reconciling the monthly statement. Show the kids something really cool at Mvelopes (www.debtproofliving.mvelopes.com). This is an online budgeting system that turns your checking account into a visual playground where you divvy up your money into tiny envelopes. It’s fun and will visualize for the kids (for you, too) what it means to “pre-spend” your income.
Debit and credit cards. Your kids are growing up in a plastic world. It’s important that they understand as soon as possible what that means. First it’s easy to spend up a mountain of debt or blow through the contents of a bank account with just a little piece of plastic. But more importantly there’s a big world of consumer credit pulling on them to use plastic to live beyond their means.
Even if you’ve made mistakes in this area of consumer credit, you can make that a learning experience for your kids. You don’t need to reveal all of the details, but an occasional financial faux pas can provide a great opportunity to humanize money management. Kids benefit from seeing how problems are solved, too.
Talking frequently to your kids will give you the opportunity to communicate about life’s many lessons.
Teaching your kids about money will be eye-opening and fulfilling for them.
For you, too.
"Debt-Proof Living" was founded in 1992 by Mary Hunt. What began as a newsletter to encourage and empower people to break free from the bondage of consumer debt has grown into a huge community of ordinary people who have achieved remarkable success in their quest to effectively manage their money and stay out of debt. Today, "Debt-Proof Living" is read by close to 100,000 cheapskates.
Hospital visit
from Veronica Parker
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.
"Your son is here," she said to the old man.
She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.
He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.
Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.
Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.
"Who was that man?" he asked.
The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.
"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."
"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"
"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed."
The next time someone needs you ... just be there. Stay.
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.
"Your son is here," she said to the old man.
She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.
He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.
Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.
Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.
"Who was that man?" he asked.
The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.
"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."
"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"
"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed."
The next time someone needs you ... just be there. Stay.
WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS
GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE.
WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS
GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY HUMAN EXPERIENCE.
GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE.
WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS
GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY HUMAN EXPERIENCE.
2nd Download of the Day: gSyncit (Windows)
Windows only: Synchronize Google Calendar and Microsoft Outlook with gSyncit.
This Outlook plug-in supports one-way or two-way synchronization (you can go Google-to-Outlook, Outlook-to-Google or both) and works manually or automatically. After installing the program, look for a new two-button toolbar in Outlook; click the Settings button to access gSyncit's surprisingly robust configuration options.
gSyncit limits you to syncing 365 days in the past and 365 days in the future, which might be a deal-breaker for some users. Even so, this is a really effective way to connect Outlook and Google Calendar. (If you'd rather sync Google Calendar with your cell phone, check out GooSync.) gSyncit requires Windows 2000/XP and Outlook 2003 or later. It's a freebie. Thanks, Travis!
Download of the Day: Google Desktop 5.0 (Windows)
Windows only: Google Desktop 5.0 lets you search your PC, adorn it with gadgets, keep it secure and much more.
Among the highlights of this new version is an expandable preview window that appears on the Desktop search results page. This allows you to peek inside documents and data files without actually having to run the associated application. (To put it another way, you can see if a particular Word file is the one you really wanted, without having to launch Word.)
Google Desktop 5.0 also sports a redesigned, flashier sidebar with some overhauled gadgets and a much slicker Add Gadgets interface. (Much as I hate to say this, everything looks more Vista-like--but that's a good thing.) Finally, the new Desktop promises better security, alerting you when you're about to visit a possible phishing site or install malicious software.
If you're already a Google Desktop user, the new version is a no-brainer update. If you're an XP user who's been tempted by Vista's Sidebar, look no further than Google's robust alternative--which also happens to be a fine desktop-search tool. Finally, don't forget to check out Adam's excellent feature, Get more from Google Desktop.
Google Desktop 5.0, currently in beta, requires Windows 2000, XP or Vista. It's free.
Black belt scheduling with Google Calendar
by Gina Trapani
Web-based calendars have been around for ages, but one year ago Google Calendar came onto the scene and changed the game. Once upon a time Yahoo! Calendar had my heart, but today Y! Calendar looks frumpy and dated next to GCal's slick, dynamic interface, multiple calendar support, fun extras and collaborative features.You can be a scheduling black belt with Google Calendar. Step into my office to learn a few lesser-obvious but super-useful GCal techniques.
Read more...
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Toymaker strikes gold online with Webkinz
Do you have a child in school? Then you probably know about the plush toys, Webkinz. Each comes with a secret code giving its owner access to an online world. This linkage of the real and virtual worlds has made Webkinz perhaps the hottest toys ever.
globeandmail.com: Toy maker strikes gold with Beanie Babies of the online era
Friday, April 6, 2007
New technology lets you read your voice mail
"We've all gotten those long voice mail messages from a friend, relative, business associate--or in this reporter's case a PR person pitching a story idea--that seem to drag on forever. New companies, such as Simulscribe, SpinVox and now Callwave, are emerging to provide a fix for busy people who don't want to listen to long messages anymore." Read more...
Getting Things Done' In 60 Seconds
By Mike Elgan
If you're like most educated technical types, you've heard of David Allen's 'Getting Things Done' (GTD) productivity concepts, but don't use them.
And I think I know why: 1) you're too busy to study a whole book on productivity; 2) it might not work for you anyway; and 3) deep down you really don't want to change how you work.
Am I right?
I'll make a deal with you. I'll spend the next 60 seconds telling you how to radically boost your productivity. In exchange, you have to promise to buy the book 'Getting Things Done,' if it works for you. I'm not here to steal from David Allen, but to introduce him to you. The concepts below were inspired by GTD, and might be considered blaspheme by GTD fundamentalists -- they're what I started doing after I read two of his books, and they work for me.
Here goes:
Why We Home School
A Toronto school principal who pleaded guilty to throwing human excrement at a 12-year-old boy may get her job back, officials said on Tuesday.
Read more...
Read more...
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Google Turns to Users for Online Maps | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle
Google Turns to Users for Online Maps | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle: "As part of an initiative being launched Thursday, the Internet search leader will provide free tools designed to make it easy for people to share their knowledge about their neighborhoods and other favorite places by creating customized maps that can assemble information from a variety of sources."
Woman riding horse at midnight charged with DUI
DUI charges can apply even when the vehicle has four legs instead of wheels"
Read more...
Read more...
Saving or Hoarding?
Howard Dayton
GAINESVILLE, Ga. (BP)--Once again, Americans are spending everything they make -- and then some. The U.S. Commerce Department reports that the 2006 savings rate was a negative 1 percent. This means that Americans either dipped into their savings or borrowed to finance purchases.
Furthermore, the 2006 figure was even lower than the 2005 -0.4 percent and was the poorest showing since the -1.5 percent savings rate in 1933 during the Great Depression.
Could it be that some Christians think that when a person saves funds, he or she eliminates the need to live by faith? If so, they have arrived at a false conclusion, because saving is not another word for hoarding.
There is definitely a great difference between saving and hoarding. Actually, saving involves faith, but hoarding eliminates faith. So, it's best to ask God for the wisdom to understand the difference, and the willingness to be willing to honor Him by handling your money biblically.
Go Ask An Ant?
In Proverbs 6:6 8, the Bible uses an ant as a good example of saving. "Go to the ant, you slacker! Observe its ways and become wise. Without leader, administrator, or ruler, it prepares its provisions in summer; it gathers its food during harvest."
It seems that, somehow, within the ant colony, God has designed these creatures so they are able to calculate very accurately what they'll need to get through the winter; they then gather and store that amount during the summer and autumn.
In fact, that's a good description of "saving": Looking forward to a future need, then putting aside whatever is necessary to meet that upcoming requirement so you won't have to borrow.
Attitude Versus Amount
You must understand that the difference between saving and hoarding is attitude, not amount. In today's society, when we measure what we're putting aside against the biblical standard, there's no doubt that we could conclude that many of us are hoarding.
A serious question that American Christians need to ask themselves is, "How much is enough?" Many believers have bought into the world's mindset concerning finances and have ignored God's clear biblical principles.
As Christians, God commands us to "not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God" (Romans 12:2). The way we handle resources should reveal our trust in God. Even our American currency reminds us that it should be "In God we trust," and that we shouldn't simply trust in the currency on which that statement is printed.
But We're Not Ants
We're not ants, so where do we place our savings? Before answering the "where" question, you should determine (1) your specific purpose for saving the money and (2) the sort of risk level you can handle. It's important to understand that although there are certain similarities between savings and investments, there are also great differences. But we won't go into that now, because we're talking about savings.
There are some simple guides we can mention about savings.
(1) A savings account might be the safest place to store surplus funds, but it yields the lowest interest rate.
(2) Certificates of deposit (CDs) yield a slightly higher rate than savings accounts. CDs and Treasury notes are two of the safest investment vehicles, but they also return relatively low yields.
(3) Money market funds may provide somewhat higher returns than either CDs or savings accounts. There are small risks involved with money market accounts. However, as long as they are with a strong company the risk should be minimal.
Always keep in mind that the higher the return on your savings, the greater the risk. Consider that if you'll need all or part of the money soon, a savings or money market account might be best, because CDs could tie up your money for at least 90 days. And, with CDs there are penalties for early withdrawal of funds.
Plan With Purpose
Don't save just for the sake of saving something. Instead, have a plan and save with purpose. Also, prayerfully think about designating some of your surplus money for helping someone in need in your church.
Yes, there is a difference between saving and hoarding. Saving involves faith because it represents good stewardship, but hoarding eliminates faith in God and it ignores faithful stewardship.
Remember, always pray and ask God for the wisdom to handle the provision He has given you. And, be sure your savings have a purpose that reflects biblical stewardship so that you'll avoid hoarding.
Be sensible, and don't jump on the downward savings trend. Instead, "Go to the ant.... Observe its ways and become wise."
Howard Dayton is CEO of Crown Financial Ministries. Dayton and the late Larry Burkett joined forces in 2000 when Crown Ministries, led by Dayton, merged with Christian Financial Concepts, led by Burkett. The new organization became Crown Financial Ministries, on the web at www.crown.org.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Plane Diverted Due To Passenger "Meltdown"
"Hawaii-Bound Flight Diverted To San Francisco When Woman Hits Pilot After Smoking In Lavatory" Read more...
French Train Sets Speed Record
A French train with a 25,000-horsepower engine and special wheels broke the world speed record Tuesday for conventional rail trains, reaching 357.2 mph as it zipped through the countryside to the applause of spectators. Read more...
Why We Home School
5th Graders Face Charges For Classroom Sex
The teacher left the rural Louisiana classroom unattended. Two boys and two girls participated, with another 11 children in the room. "After 44 years of doing this work, nothing shocks me anymore, but this comes pretty close," says the sheriff. Read more...
The teacher left the rural Louisiana classroom unattended. Two boys and two girls participated, with another 11 children in the room. "After 44 years of doing this work, nothing shocks me anymore, but this comes pretty close," says the sheriff. Read more...
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Help Protect Texas Students' Religious Liberties
The Religious Viewpoint Anti-Discrimination Act (HB 3678), has been introduced in Texas to protect children’s religious liberties in public schools. A few examples of unconstitutional censorship of school children in Texas include: Reprimands for talking about Jesus during Easter; a ban on children wishing deployed troops a “Merry Christmas;” children forbidden from using religious messages on gifts or cards including references to St. Valentine’s Day; children forbidden from bringing Christmas items to a school’s “Winter Party” despite the acknowledgment of other faiths during the season; children threatened by Superintendent that if they prayed they would be "disciplined the same as if they had cursed;" teacher trashing two Bibles belonging to students, taking the students to the principal's office and threatening to call Child Protective Services on the parents for letting their children bring Bibles to school. HB 3678 codifies the many constitutional ways a student or groups of students may express their faith at school and at school-sponsored events and outlines what activities would land a school in constitutional hot water. The Bill outlines the extensive liberties students are guaranteed and the protection school officials receive when recognizing these liberties. If HB 3678 passes in Texas, it will become the model template for legislation in every state. The hearing on this bill is April 12, 2:00 p.m., House State Affairs Committee, Austin, Texas. Send an email to your state Senator and Representative today in support of HB 3678.
Take Action
School: Pirates are not welcome
"Killian says, his “pirate regalia” is part of his faith — the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster."
CITIZEN-TIMES.com: School: Pirates are not welcome
Monday, April 2, 2007
The Donald's 'do remains intact
"One of the world's most famous 'do's -- considered by many to be a fashion don't -- remains intact after its owner, Donald Trump, prevailed in Sunday night's 'hair match' at Wrestlemania."
The Donald's 'do remains intact
Don't make me axe you again
"A Danish woman whose teenage son locked himself into her car and refused to get out borrowed a policeman's axe and smashed open a window to make the boy change his mind, police said Monday."
Don't make me axe you again | Oddly Enough | Reuters
Sunday, April 1, 2007
The secret to Google
Searching the Internet for stuff can really be aggravating. You might get what you're looking for, or you might not. But you know you'll get at least 1 million extraneous items.
Believe it or not, search used to be worse. It was tough to find much of anything until the mid-90s.
Then, around the year 2000, Google came along. This search engine was really a great achievement. People have long wondered how they do it.
Well, Google has lifted the curtains. It's not a bank of powerful computers. Nor is it a handful of clever algorithms.
Amazingly, Google does it with a large flock of pigeons. The company calls its search technology PigeonRank. Pigeons can find the smallest differences between things, including Web pages. When you enter a search term, they instantly find the page you want.
Google explains this on its site. And, by the way, happy April Fool's Day.
Percentage of frogs in food jumps
By DAVE BARRY
It's getting worse.
When I say ''it,'' I am referring to the worldwide epidemic of frogs showing up in food, which I documented recently, describing two worldwide incidents, one involving a frog baked onto a pretzel, and the other involving a frog in a frozen Chicken Cantonese dinner. When I say ''is getting worse,'' I'm referring to a shocking new development that occurred recently in Orange, Calif., according to a superb story in the Orange County Register, written by Lori Basheda and sent in by many alert readers.
The story states that on Nov. 5 a man named Patrick McGowan and his family were eating at a chain restaurant called El Torito. McGowan had ordered the No. 7 combo, and noticed that the taco ``was chewier than it ought to be.''
''So I spit it out and there was a frog,'' McGowan is quoted as saying. ``I couldn't believe it. I bit the damn head off.''
The McGowans said they asked for a manager, but nobody showed up, so Marlaina McGowan started walking around informing the other diners: ``I wouldn't eat here. There's frogs in the food.''
A manager then appeared, and after a ''tug of war'' with the McGowans, wound up taking the frog away. The McGowans demanded custody of the frog but the restaurant refused to surrender it.
''We want to have it checked for diseases,'' Marlaina McGowan is quoted as saying. 'We called our doctor and he said, `Get the frog.' ''
If you know anything at all about the United States of America, then you know what happened next; namely, lawyers materialized. According to Basheda's follow-up story, the McGowans' attorney sent El Torito a letter stating: ``The frog pieces will be crucial evidence if this matter proceeds to litigation. You are advised to maintain custody of the frog and insure that it is not lost, altered or destroyed in any manner.''
An El Torito company spokesperson told the Register: ``We're not commenting on the location of the frog. It is undergoing testing at a reputable independent lab.''
As of this writing, we do not know the results of the testing. But we do know that we now have documented cases of frogs showing up in three major food groups: 1) the restaurant group, 2) the frozen-food group and 3) the pretzel group. Only an idiot would believe this is coincidence. This is clearly a case of frogs, acting in concert, infiltrating our food supply. And if you are not alarmed about this, then you obviously have never had a friend or loved one expire from a frog-transmitted disease.
How can you, the consumer, protect yourself? You can be very suspicious, especially if you're eating at a swank restaurant operated by French people, who are known to deliberately put frogs, and sometimes even snails, into food, then disguise them with so-called ''French'' names such as ''escargot'' (which means, literally, 'They are paying to eat this! Ha ha!''). When ordering at such a restaurant, make sure you ask your waiter probing questions about the menu (''Pierre, this so-called `fromage' -- any frogs in that?''). When your food arrives, examine it closely by flashlight and do not hesitate to take precautions (''Hey, Pierre, how about you take the first bite of these so-called 'legumes.' '').
When preparing your own food at home, be sure to check the list of ingredients carefully -- and not just for frogs. I say this because recently an alert reader named Gary Osburn sent me a food product, which he purchased in Singapore, called -- I am not making this up -- ``Thick Soup of Snake.''
The information on the Thick Soup of Snake box is printed in both Chinese and a language that is sort of, but not quite, English. For example, the box states that in addition to ''snake meat,'' the ingredients include ''hot perfume'' and ``special doing first-class soup material.''
In an act of unselfish journalistic courage, for which I should get, at minimum, a Nobel Prize, I actually made Thick Soup of Snake, with the help of my son, Rob. This was not easy, because the directions (or, as the box calls them, the ''Food of way'') include such statements as: ''Allocate the materials becoming starch shape with the a little cold water,'' and ``you will get a pot of heavy fragrance.''
I'll say we did. I do not believe I have ever experienced a fragrance that heavy outside of an unserviced portable toilet.
''What would it take to get you to eat this?'' I asked Rob.
''A new car,'' he said.
But I was determined to try it. I got a spoonful of Thick Soup of Snake and brought it to my lips.
''I'm going to throw up,'' I told Rob.
''No, you won't,'' he said, helpfully. ``Just forget it's snake.''
I finally ate a little bit, and so did Rob, and we agreed that -- once you get past the fact that it smells disgusting and looks like something that had been swept from the floor of a stable full of very sick horses -- it is truly awful. I honestly think I would prefer frog.
But the point is that we're having an epidemic, and until it's over, you should be very careful about what you eat. You should consume only those foods that it would be difficult for reptiles or amphibians to hide in.
Probably your safest bet is to eat nothing but M&Ms. And even then, you should steer clear of the green ones.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
President Bush Makes Fun of Himself
President Bush breaks out his standup routine at the White House correspondents dinner (March 29)
Friday, March 30, 2007
Plane Cleared From Runway After Scary Emergency Landing
Plane Cleared From Runway After Scary Emergency Landing - News: "More than 145 passengers and crew were on board when the plane landed without nose gear. Passengers said they could feel the metal nose of the plane grinding along the runway, all the way into their feet."
Early Adopter Download of the Day: Minimo (Windows Mobile)
Windows Mobile only: Previously mentioned freeware app Minimo is a mobile browser based on the same wonderful Mozilla technologies that bring us Firefox.
Minimo's come a long way since we last posted about it, and its strong feature set includes pretty good javascript/AJAX support and tabbed browsing that looks and feels like regular Firefox tabs. This little browser is still very young, and support for a lot of javascript and AJAX may end up being a bit too much for what you Windows Mobile device can handle while remaining snappy (at least it was for mine - Google Maps did work, but it was a little jumpy), but this is a nice looking mobile browser you might want to keep your eyes on. Like Firefox, Minimo claims to have extension support, but as far as I could find, there currently aren't any extensions available. Either way, it's a definite step up from the mobile version of Internet Explorer if that's what you're browsing with on your mobile device.
Living under the influence of the Weirdness Magnet
By DAVE BARRY
We need to find it, dig it up, and get rid of it.
I'm talking about the South Florida Giant Underground Weirdness Magnet. It's buried around here somewhere. It has to be. How else can you explain why so many major freak-show news stories either happen, or end up, in South Florida?
O.J. Simpson, for example. Why is he here? Did anybody in South Florida ever say, ''Hey O.J.! Why don't you pack up your golf clubs, your one glove and your remaining cutlery, and come be part of our community!''? Of course not! Nobody WANTED him here. He was DRAWN here, by the Giant Underground Weirdness Magnet.
Or consider the 2000 presidential election. In the rest of the nation, voters looked at their ballots, then picked either one presidential candidate or the other. Only here did a scarily large number of voters attempt to vote for either (a) none of the presidential candidates, or (b) ALL of the presidential candidates, or in some cases both (a) AND (b), thereby screwing up the entire election and causing a Level Five Lawyer Infestation from which we have yet to fully recover. What caused so many incompetent voters to clump together into one huge clueless mass? That would be your Giant Underground Weirdness Magnet.
Another example is the Miracle Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich. Remember? Granted, the Virgin Mary has appeared on other food items. But only in Hollywood, Fla., did she appear on a grilled-cheese sandwich that was preserved by its owner, who (Why not?) kept it on her nightstand for more than 10 years -- during which she claims it did not develop mold -- and then (this is the miracle part) she sold it on eBay to a casino for $28,000. The casino also paid $5,999 for the pan. Please do not try to tell me that this could have happened in an area that was not being bombarded with powerful weirdness rays.
ONE AMONG MANY
There are many other South Florida phenomena that can only be explained by the Giant Underground Weirdness Magnet, including the Versace slaying, the Elián González fiasco, Tim Hardaway and Donald Trump. The current example, it goes without saying, is the Anna Nicole Smith Corpse Battle and Freak-a-Palooza, now playing in Fort Lauderdale. Of COURSE it had to happen here. And of COURSE, instead of a thoughtful, dignified, decorous, mentally stable judge, we got an American Idol contestant -- sometimes sobbing like Dorothy when she had to say goodbye to the Scarecrow; sometimes firing off one-liners that he apparently thought were hilarious. Ha ha! Stop it, Judge, you Krazy Kourtroom Karacter!
No, really, Judge: stop it.
Anyway, the question is, what can we do about this? I don't mean the Anna Nicole Smith mess; that will continue metastasizing for a LONG time. Zsa Zsa Gabor -- Yes! Zsa Zsa! -- is already involved; it's only a matter of time before somehow, some way, we hear the words ``Kato Kaelin.''
No, it's too late to stop that. But maybe we can prevent this kind of thing from happening here again, by eliminating the cause of our problems. That's right: we need to get rid of the Giant Underground Weirdness Magnet. But first, we have to figure out where it is.
I think I know. I figured it out scientifically.
CENTER OF WEIRD
Here's how: I took a map of South Florida, and I marked the locations of the major weird phenomena described in this column. Then I looked at this map in a scientific manner, considering both the location of each phenomenon, and its Weirdness Quotient. And then a chill ran down my spine as I realized where the magnet would have to be buried, to cause this particular weirdness pattern.
It's under the Golden Glades Interchange.
We have no choice. To get that thing out of there, to give this community hope for a normal, or at least less-weird, future, we need to demolish the Golden Glades as soon as possible, using either dynamite or -- if the wind is right -- nuclear explosives. Then we need to dig up the Giant Underground Weirdness Magnet and send it to some place that could use more weirdness, such as Cincinnati.
You're thinking: ``But Dave, what if we follow your plan, and the weirdness magnet isn't there? Then all we will have accomplished is the total destruction of the Golden Gl ... Oh, OK, never mind.''
Exactly. So come on, South Florida: Let's do this NOW, before things get any worse. For all we know, Kato is already heading this way.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Rosie: Captured Brits a hoax to provoke war
WorldNetDaily: Rosie: Captured Brits a hoax to provoke war: "In yet another provocative claim, TV host Rosie O'Donnell implied yesterday the Iranian seizure of British sailors was a hoax to provide President Bush with an excuse to go to war with Tehran."
Microsoft releases "Deepfish" browser for Windows Mobile
Sean Cooper - Engadget
Oracle Announces Expiration of HSR Review
REDWOOD SHORES, Calif.,
Will the Trump-Do become a Trump-Not?
Vince McMahon, right, pushes on the nose of Donald Trump
as they face off during a March 28 press conference in New York.
as they face off during a March 28 press conference in New York.
Trump vows to shave his head if WWE wrestler loses | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle
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